I GUESS I KNOW WHY WE DIDN’T WORK

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1.I wore red and black lipsticks with equal confidence. You wanted someone who did pink lipstick and never stopped smiling. My lipstick shade always projected my mood. You never took your time to know this.

2. I was a combination of a hurricane and tornadoe. Looks like you could only handle a little rain and a little breeze.

3. I was made of sarcasm, coffee and everything in between. You wanted someone made of sugar, spice and everything sweet.

4. I rocked my high heels and plain skirt with the same attitude I did rugged jeans and sneekers. You wanted someone who did girly stuffs. You said I suffered from identity issues. I didn’t correct you.

5.I was the girl who did her whiskey straight from the bottle and sometimes didn’t drink at all. You wanted someone who did red wine in a glass(like a Lady).

6. I was an ambivient, an extroverted introvert. You wanted an introvert or extrovert. The combination of both worlds got your head twisted. You couldn’t understand how I thrived in public and sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.

7. I was a morning person. You wanted someone who could stay up all night and sleep through the morning with you.

8.I was obsessed with stray cats. I would spend the whole day watching cats doing cute things in the Internet. You wanted someone who could actually take care of a pet. We both knew that kind of nurturing was not wired in my DNA.

9. I was selfish. You wanted someone selfless. Someone who could take care of you. Someone like mommy. Let’s be honest,  if I had a stone for a pet it would definetly die even though stones are not living things. It would die as dead as stones can get.

10. I wouldn’t cook a meal. Well,I said wouldn’t not couldn’t. I could but I just hate cooking. You wanted someone who didn’t complain every ten seconds while chopping onions or tomatoes or even boiling water. A real woman, you termed her.

11. I wore my heart on my sleeve. I was never into hide and seek. I said straight up what I wanted. You wanted someone you could chase. Someone you could convince to do as you wanted. We didn’t work because I took that away from you. I was easy, I was either in or out. All you had to do is ask.

12. I was indecisive in day to day choices. Exception of how and when I needed my coffee.(in the morning and black). You wanted someone who could decide on what they wanted to eat or how they wanted to spend the evening. You see I never think that far ahead, and I don’t like choices. You said I was a typical girl. I didn’t correct you. I had no idea who I was.

13. I was never one to support everything. I gave my opinions when you asked and never meddled where I was not needed. You wanted a cheerleader, a ego masseuse and a heavens knows what other super powers the girl you wanted had to have.

14. I didn’t know why the caged bird sang. And I have no idea what that Brooklyn bridge in NY is called. Well it’s Brooklyn bridge but I Just didn’t care. You wanted someone who cared about such.

15. I was  afraid of the dynamics of change. You wanted someone who could stay the same today,tomorrow and days to come.

16. I was bubbly. I could go on a rant over the most stupid thing. You wanted someone with a filter. Someone who didn’t have to tell you everything that came into their mind.

17. I was reckless and rake in such of danger and tasted like revolution. You wanted responsible

18. I was a feminist and you were a chauvinist. We were like a mixture of oil and water. Nothing could make us mix, not Even heat.

19. I was never in time. You wanted a girl Who could keep time. Someone time conscious. I was always fashionably late.

20. I told him I wanted to write books that will blow minds. A book that will speak the language of souls. He laughed. The kind that made my skin crawl.

It’s okay we didn’t work. It’s okay you walked away when you did.
In all honesty I can’t love cooking and I can’t even force myself to make decisions. Leave alone stop being so fashionably late.

When I asked heavens for a flawed person, that was not the wrapping was hoping my gift (soulmate) to show up lookin like.

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A Sincere Love Letter (to my phone)

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“Your phone has already replaced your watch, your alarm, your computers. Don’t let it replace your family. ”
I saw that quote somewhere in the internet. And I thought, the person who wrote that has no idea what my phone can do. Whomever said that didn’t do my phone enough justice.

I’m professing my love to you. I suppose you aren’t appreciated as much as you should. I have no idea how I could survive without you, honestly. This is not some kind of first love or real love bullshit. Not some childish thinking or view of love. I know better than to define our relationship. There are few things that I love and even fewer that I care about. You happened to be amongst them both.

I used to know some one who did love their phone more than anything. And I thought, well that’s overrated. I thought so since the said person loved their phone more than their lives. I slowly became that person but my life is higher in the food chain than my phone, obviously.

our love is two way or at least I think that way. You have never let me down and that’s my que that you actually love me. Actions speak louder than words. So they said.

You are my alarm in the morning and you stay with me on my sleepless nights. The nights that I feel like I’m losing it, you keep me sane. It’s my duty to keep you safe. So I ensure you are well taken care of. Always with enough charge, bundles and everything You need to stay happy. Or is it, everything you need to keep me happy? Hard to decide you know. 

You are there for me in awkward situations. You keep me at ease over uncomfortable situations. You are always there just when I need you. All I have to do is reach out and everything becomes okay. You feel up awkward situations and noisy places. Especially when I’m in company of people who make me wanna cat my head off, look who comes to rescue? Of course the love I didn’t know I had, my phone. My Knight in shinning armour. Replace armour with internet and ebooks.

You hold three of my most important things. You have my books, my music and the internet. Not in the order of importance of course. Those three are equally important or at least as equal as this can get.

You are my connection to the world. Especially lately when outside is so peopley (Crowded with humanoids who make me wanna just die). I stole that humanoid thing from Lilith Cas. Please don’t kill me for that demoness.

You hold my diary, notes, post it, and you are my album. My memories in pictures all stored in that icon you call gallery.

And I love the fact that I’m the one in control in this relationship. Plus I get most of the benefits. All I do is take, take, take, and take while I give less. And people think love is hard work. Love is the easiest of all. Look at us? By us I mean me and my phone. If this ain’t love, I don’t know what is. Don’t you think so?

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I want to see you, on Wednesday Morning (every morning)

I want to see you on mornings that you are all motivated. Mornings you feel like you can take on the world. The ones you are optimistic that it’s gonna be a good day. The ones you actually want to leave your bed. The ones I know you will be productive.

I want to seen you on mornings that the light hurt your eyes. The ones you crawl back to bed. The ones you don’t feel like dealing with the world. The ones you feel tired of being tired. The mornings you don’t wanna leave the safety of the house. The ones that I will tuck you in bed and call your boss that you sick. I will snuggle back in bed to keep you warm.

I want to see you on mornings you stayed up all night, work related. The ones you give me a lazy smile and your eyes are red. The mornings you are yawning every ten seconds. The ones you opt to push your limits, the ones you still go to work even though all you will be is a dead weight. The ones we both know you won’t be productive, but you do it anyway.

I want to see you on Wednesday morning. My favorite morning. I want to see you today. Who can blame me for loving Wednesday?

I want to see you on a rainy morning. The gloomy mornings. The ones that look sad and depressing. The one that makes us both want to quit and work from home. The ones you don’t let the weather ruin your life. The ones you work any way.

I want to see you on Sunday morning. And by morning I mean mid day after we stayed up all night. Either watching a moving or dancing our lives away. The lazy mornings where I practically beg you to Cook me pancakes. You keep refusing, I don’t stop begging.

I want to see you every morning. Now and forever.
#inspired
#love
#writing

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Here Is To Never Growing up( like we have a choice, funny)

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Avril song here is to never growing up is playing in the background. I have it on repeat. I want this moment to last forever. The part where I just don’t care, living like I’m now. The part where someone else is responsible for my welfare. Someone else is worrying about my bills and fees etc etc etc. All I do is get through the day, work hard and not to embarrass them with horrible grades.

My professor once said most people hate responsibility. This morning I noticed how right she was then. I just realized I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want to be a proper adult with adult responsibilities.

I love campus love, maybe a little too much. All I have to do is study a little to get something a little over 40%, miss all the 9 o’clock classes, miss the evening classes, do more talking in group discussions more than the actual group work and end up with substandard work. That’s there’s to do with education. That’s there is for the entire week day.

On the weekends you party like a broke Rock star. Cheap liquor in plastic cups for some people. Others are actually a little loaded so they just do cheap liquor but not in plastic cups. And there are those like me, we prefer a quite weekend with a good book and good conversations, while drinking cheap wine that stains our teeth. Or go hiking and sweat our

On Sundays, others go to Church. Some are nursing hangovers. And then there are those like me; we just want to be Left alone. We need a detox from humans. That’s how we recharge, preparing for the week to begin with.

A repeat of events from one semester to the next. One week to the next. One moon to the next. Siddhartha doesn’t agree with me though. His school of thought is that; an event may seem like a routine but it’s never the same. It might have the same feel, same results, same actions but every time it’s new.
Do I subscribe to that school of thought? I don’t know. I’m just as lost as everyone else in their twenties.

Great week ahead y’all. Stay positive, that’s what they say.

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What I want my little sister to know

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It’s Wednesday. It’s that day of the week where we post pics of women we are crushing on. And my WCW today is my little sister. She will be turning 13 somewhere this year. It’s that age where teenage hood is at it’s best. That age that you are expected to act like an adult and still be a child.

If I could go back in time, the things I’m telling you today I would have told myself then. Thank God for big sisters, you don’t have to learn this by your own. I walked that road for you. This is not me trying to make you not live your life little sister, you actually should live your life. Just do your thing. I’m telling you this so that when you finally get to experience this things, it won’t come as a surprise. My little one.

Someday soon you will get your first period. You have probably learned this in science. They call it monthly period. In real life it’s not like they say in textbook. It’s uncomfortable at first. The pain is something you have never felt, that’s what they call crumps. When this happens;you no longer a child. You have passed that, you are now a woman. Physically though.

Your breasts Will enlarge. Of course you expecting this, science did teach you this. What science didn’t do is that bras suck. And you will have to wear that thing for the rest of your life. I saw how excited you were to start wearing bras. Darling, you will be in for a shock. Lemme not ruin the surprise for you, though.

I want you to know that everyday is the oldest you can ever be. Live each day Like your last. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes or take blind jumps. Live for the moment. Live each day at a time.

High school will come. You will hate those four years and thereafter, you will miss it. You will meet mean girls, you Will probably be among the mean ones. It will be blissful and challenging. Discovering yourself and testing your limits is part of the show. You will do a lot of experiments, with your life, body, mind and everything in between. It’s part of growing up. Your grades will probably possibly suck. You will laugh and cry. You Will meet girls who will probably become your lifelong friends. Some you will never meet. High school will be crazy, but we need the crazy to stay sane. These madness will also pass. Go with the flow, let peer pressure take control. Live it up. Perhaps you will regret some of your actions. But then again, the best memories are always from horrible ideas.

In this journey called life. You will be lost and not lost. Such is life. Don’t worry, you will figure things out. Don’t fret over tomorrows that will never come. Go through the good, the bad, and the ugly while you feel the moment.

Someday you will appreciate coffee. You call it bitter now. But one day, that bitter juice will be all you need to be a functional human being. When coffee hits your soul you feel more human than anything. You will know this the day you realize that people are draining. A refill of coffee will prevent you from hitting an idiot with a chair on the face. Thank me later.

Hey, periods are not all horrible BTW. The Bliss after bleeding is mind blowing. I know this because have experienced.

You will feel pretty, ugly, stabby, and a million other emotions. It’s being a girl. It’s being female. Your hormones are just playing with you, in conjunction with mother nature. You can’t run away from this. It’s part of the show, Darling.

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THIS IS WHY I LIKE YOU

1. You don’t call, you prefer texting. And that’s my kind of person. You only call when it’s absolutely necessary.

2. I like you because you never introduced me to your siblings. Not even by name. Every time we meet them you talk like I don’t even exist. Like I’m not there! And I like how they play along. They don’t ask questions.

3. I like you because you don’t text me everyday. You understand I need space. You need space too. It gives me room to miss you. Or think about you. Space to obsess about you, I Wonder what’s occupying your time. I keep guessing what fills your day. That’s my kind of thing.

4. I like you because you don’t bring up the L word. You don’t say you love me. Never.

5. You don’t do small talk’s. You don’t ask if I’m doing good. You don’t ask about the weather. You don’t ask if I ate or not. I like how you ignore mundane things.

6. I like you because you don’t bother to comfort me when I’m feeling low or crying. The way you leave the room when I hit rock bottom is a gift. And the fact that you don’t bring that moment up makes me want to propose. Makes me want to marry you.

7. I like you because you don’t hold my hand in public. Or in private for that matter. I’m touchy but I despise human touch. I like how you let me touch you without You reciprocating.

8. I like you because you call me by name. No pet games. I like how you say my name in full. I can only imagine the taste of my name in your lips. I guess it tastes like Honey and everything sweet.

9. I like how you don’t bother to coming to pick me up on our date nights. Being a gentleman is clearly not your thing.

10. I like you because you don’t try to please me. And you don’t treat me like I’m fragile. You don’t offer help unless I ask. The fact that you let me take care of myself means a lot to me.

11. I like how you don’t ask things about me. And how you remember every information I volunteer. You never asked about my favorite colour or the colour I bleed when I’m alone.

If you stay like this, a girl might just propose. I would love to be the mother of your children. As long as You stay the same. You can evolve of course, as long as the evolution doesn’t interfere with everything that I like about You. This might last forever.

#writing
#love
#like
#twentysomething

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