I need my hormones more than I need most things. Except coffee. I always need coffee and my hormones. But my hormones most. They both keep me sane and grounded though. But I guess my hormones are superior to coffee. Or is coffee superior to the dragon? I can’t seem to decide.
My hormones powers my life literally. just like my phone is powered by batteries. One cannot function without the other. We complement each other. Or is it complete? Sometimes I think my hormones can function without me.
I’m most inspired to write or work when am hormonal. The days that I have more progesterone than estrogen. When the dragon takes over then substandard work ain’t in the menu. Only perfection and exemplary work is produced. Nothing but the best.
I need my hormones for the perfect skin. It makes my skin glow even if it’s just for a few days. I relish those few days. Again before I know it she ruins my skin. With the dragon you never know. One minute she is flying you around and the next she is spitting fire trying to kill you. Or ruin your skin.
I need my hormones to feel pretty, ugly, beautiful and everything in between. There are days you feel one or the other. And looks like my mirror works hand in hand with my hormones. You always look exactly how you feel. Thanks to the dragon.
I need my hormones to be greedy. Hell, you haven’t met me when I’m hormonal. I can eat an entire village and still ask for more. I can also sleep my life away. And did I mention that I’m also in a terrible and good mood at the same time? Unpredictable.
I need my hormones to openly dislike or like people. Depending on the day of the month, I can either love you and want to have your babies or hate you so much that you can’t get your little head around it. Did I Mention that I do it openly? Yes. I did. It’s not me, it’s the dragon. I wouldn’t care less about you when the dragon leaves any way.
I need my hormones so I can do whatever I feel like. It’s like being drunk and you just do stuffs that you won’t remember. It’s the same thing with hormones, you could kill someone and not remember. I love my hormones. Goodness, I wouldn’t have done all those terrible things without them. All those terrible things that people around me remember that I have no idea about.
I need my hormones so I can be emotional. Some times things get very tough and all you do is cry. It’s magical since it fixes you immediately. One minute you are so frustrated and after tearing you feel way better. It’s like a burden has been lifted. And it also balances your hormones, according to science anyway.
I need my hormones to handle whatever life throws my way. Is life serving lemons today? My hormones are ready to start the process of making lemonade or finding someone who has vodka or whatever needs to be done. Is life testing my patience? My hormones are just all over the place, calming me and helping me slap idiots in my head. I mean my hormones are always up to the task. Anything the dragon is up for it. Ask her.
I can never thank them enough. They are like the next best thing. I’m the best thing then my hormones. The rest of you follow.
And I’m always hormonal except when I’m not. It usually last like ten seconds per month, not being hormonal that is. And they usually are the worst seconds of my life.
If you are a lady and you don’t love your hormones, your loss. Some of us have no idea what we would have done without it.
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