I WON’T THINK OF YOU THIS VALENTINE’S OR ANY OTHER DAY OF 2016

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Its not seven years yet, someday it will be.

I buried you in my yesterdays. Six fit under. I sent you away with a promise of never thinking about you again. A promise of letting you go. I burnt that bridge completely. At least that’s what I thought I did.

Valentine’s is around the corner and surprisingly you don’t haunt my dreams anymore. I got through Christmas eve without your kiss. I got through new year without your physical presence. I will get through Valentine’s without you

Darling, I’m getting better in this without
you. That’s what happens when you grow up, right?

Our lives were so intertwined that every holiday used to be our thing. My family became yours and the other way round. It’s funny how time flies and things change.
Last Christmas my parents didn’t mention you. On new year we did the nyama choma thing and no one asked about you. We popped champagne and no one mentioned your name. Looks like they already forgot you existed before. And that increased my resolve of completely letting go.

I once thought I couldn’t live without you. I never thought I would see days without you. But you are gone now and have seen bad days and good days and days in between. Most importantly, without you. It wasn’t easy at first, I got better with time.

I don’t think about you as often as I used to. Have revisited places we used to go without feeling nostalgic. I listen to Daughtry this days and the other day your favorite song was on TV but I didn’t change The station. Progress!!!

I know have said have moved on before. But those little things about us did hurt. Until some time back, it stopped. It doesn’t matter anymore. You don’t matter anymore.

It will be Valentine’s without you and I won’t moan. I won’t even get a date. I will be alone. And this time round, it won’t be you in my thoughts. You have expired just like I knew you would. Someday.

Thank heavens your mom won’t call me. I changed my number. The moment I did that I knew I was kissing you goodbye. Your mom never failed to call me every important holiday. She calls me when you are unreachable even when she knows we are in different towns. At least she used to, before I changed my number.

I still Wonder why you never told her about what you did. Why you let her live a lie that we still together. How do you look her in the eye and make up stories about how good we are? That’s your loss now. I’m done playing this game with you.

Valentine’s without you is promising. No More deceit and lies and everything you were or represented. No more bleeding for you. The wound did close up. At least that’s what I tell myself.

No one left me sore like you did. But everything is fine now. I’m Good, without you my love.

Posted from WordPress for Android

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