I wrote this for you and only you can understand. Has anyone ever played with your love? Then this is for you. It might have happened recently or eons ago but you still feel the throb, it aches Like it happened just yesterday. Maybe you have “moved on”. But your heart is still stuck. Maybe you are still single and every night you go to bed their side of the bed remains cold. Maybe you are going on dates because that’s what your BFF thinks it’s the right thing to do. She is just trying to help you know.
He didn’t play with your body,he didn’t play with your heart,he didn’t play with your emotions because those can be fixed. A broken heart can heal,we can get over feelings, our bodies can forget those who used it roughly. He did the most unforgivable and most painful of all, played with your LOVE. It’s the kind of thing that changes you, forever. The kind of thing that can destroy even the strongest of souls. It makes everything in you hurt. Your heart is bleeding, your skin is screaming, your soul is drowning and it’s Like your lungs are on fire. Your own body is turning against you, literally.
He just didn’t leave you, he left when you needed him most. He just didn’t dump you,he did because you loved him a little too much. He didn’t leave you for the moon,because Darling that’s can be forgiven. He led you on for months or even years. He let you fall for him hard. Then one day he just walked away. No signs, no explanation. All you got is that he has to go. Go find himself, or he is lost or he just can’t do these anymore. He was done with you. Just Like that. You cried but he looked at you in pity on his way out. He let you invest your everything then left like it didn’t mean a thing. Like you were just another girl.
If you are still reading, You know the struggle. You spend your evenings online reading sad quotes,playing sad music and your phone or tablet or computer has more than ten tabs open. You are trying to distract yourself. You are trying to forget the pain. You just hope if you distract yourself enough it will all go away. You wish it all goes away. You wish this was a nightmare and it will end when you wake up. But it’s not, this is your reality.
You bury yourself in work. You started doing yoga because someone recommended it, they said it will make you feel better. You even Left town to visit your family. You are doing anything and everything to be okay. You are trying and I’m very proud of you. You even thought maybe if you would have tried harder they would have stayed. Maybe if you had cut your wrist and rip your own heart they would have stayed. Nothing seems to add up? Girl, you just got played.
Then there are days like this, days you don’t feel like leaving the safety of your house. Days you don’t feel Like dealing with the World even after drowning two cups of coffee. You just want to crawl back to bed and stay there. Showering seems like a lot of effort. You look at your closet and wonder if this are really your clothes. You just want it all to end. Your thoughts are dark,you don’t seem like finding your moon.
But you don’t give up. You forcing yourself to do normal things. You are probably going to skip the shower. You leave the house any way. You do normal. You don’t want your friends worrying, so you push on. You leave the house with a plastered plastic smile.
I’m very proud of you. You are a brave one. I’m not saying someday this will just be a memory. You can’t forget this kind of thing. The throb will always be there. Let’s just hope someday you will find a better one. The one who will give you the love you deserve. And let’s just hope you will be strong enough to take it. Let’s hope all this doesn’t make you throw love to the gutter. Let’s hope someday you will try again, and this time it will be for real.
Don’t forget, there’s hope. Don’t give up. Not just yet. If you do, they win. Get through the day with everything you have.
Inspired by stray cats.