Tribute To My Most Dysfunctional Functional Group Members From Campus

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I will start by celebrating y’all. It’s been two academic years since we started this ka cult of ours. Only one word might be used to describe the experience,crazy, it’s been crazy working with y’all shit heads. From our lows to highs,bad to good, substandard works to excellent, frustrations to stress free and now we are coming to the end.

We all know it was the most horrible idea for us to belong to the same group. I mean,how nuts can anyone be to have all that 50 shades of crazy in one group? I guess, more than crazy. We were never compatible on whatever scale of comparability ever created by man. How that worked out for two academic years, straight,  I will never understand.

Bernarde the alpha male and the only man, Mercy the sometimes alpha and sometimes beta female, Micere the sane one, Diba the sometimes rationale and mostly fisty, Sharon the one who talks too much and avoids responsibility as much as possible, Regina the ever unavailable and available (y’all know what I mean) and then there’s me. Let’s not even go there! And lastly, our ghost group member. Not naming names.

So our sometimes alpha sometimes beta female, (Mercy) can actually produce good results under pressure. She disappears when she thinks there’s no pressure, key word here is THINK. Did y’all see how she worked on that ka seminar paper? It was like her life depended on it! Who ever imagined Mercy was capable of putting that much effort to anything? Well, I didn’t seen that coming.

Then our rational (Micere) and all time group leader even when she claims she is not. Well, I wonder how she got through two academic years leading these shit heads of crazy people, by force. She didn’t have a choice BTW. Man, TWO ACADEMIC YEARS!! Maybe it’s because she is a first born or she is just patient or the Holy Spirit intervened. It’s hard to tell from where I’m standing. And somebody knows how to delegate duties,who knew?

I will really miss Regina. Well, her availability and unavailability is something to be admired. That girl knows how to survive. And we had a strange relationship. Sometimes she is on my side, sometimes against me but mostly she excelled in getting on my nerves. I wonder how much she got paid just to rattle my nerves.

Our Doris was awesome when she wanted, then there are days she just choose to do nothing. You should have seen how she handles stress and pressure. “Things are going south? Lets take some selfie, meanwhile. “ The number of seflie we took, courtesy of this girl are uncountable. And this used to piss off The man in the group,who could have imagined? He would storm out(like a boss) and leave us to fend for ourselves. Not like we ended up being more productive or anything mundane.

There was this one time we spent the entire evening taking pictures of ourselves, against the sunset. The man in the group thought we were actually working. We excelled in surprising him, as if we were getting paid. We did that for free! Abso-fucking-lutely free!

Bernarde without you I doubt we would have come this far. You are highly appreciated. Not like you were perfect, far from it. Your mood swings used to drive us insane, ask anyone. But at Least it used to get us girls to work, sometimes, anyway. You were our IT guy and the one who handle the Technical things Like SPSS and what not.

Then there was Sharon. There’s nothing much to say about her. She didn’t stay long enough to witness the crazy or get through the tough times, she left after a year. But she really knew how to evade responsibilities. Her laptop was never available. Sijui laptop imeharibika, sijui nilipeana , ooh sijui ……  unending excuses.

Then there was one who was never in the group but her name appeared in all our reports. I’m not mentioning names, lest it’s used against her in future. We would all agree not to include her name but somehow, I don’t know, somebody added her. Did she even contribute on printing money? Of course not. Not like we  asked her to give much, it usually from 100 Bob( Kenyan shilling) to 300 tops! And that was plus lunch for somebody, somebody always got lunch. Usually it was one person, always that person, and somehow, this person earned the lunch. anyway, about our ghost group member, I guess no one will miss her. And maybe that’s a good thing. Wait, somebody will miss her, but that’s definetly not me.

Well then there was me. How I got my pretty self in this crazy shit hole of a group,  I Will never understand. Why I stayed for two Years? I don’t know,maybe somebody should do a research, or something. As long as you seek consent, nicely. Not like I regret or anything. The experienced was interesting. Interesting enough that I’m telling the internet about it!

I will definetly miss y’all. I wish you well and I hope life treats you with kindnesses and may you find the desires of your hearts. And none of you shit heads should change, not for anyone or anything. Your imperfections is what made you perfect. Without those shortcoming we wouldn’t have had the experience we had

This was supposed to be a tribute and I ended up talking about the crazy in y’all shit heads.

The lessons I learnt were priceless. And the memories are forever cherished. And your support appreciated.

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PS. I hope after school we will keep in touch, once a year ain’t so bad. Please send Christmas greetings or birthday wishes.

Just another rumble.

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