I was hanging out with my cousins today. Then somehow the talk of love ,moving on,exes and heartbreaks came up. Then I realized I can never stop loving you. Maybe I don’t get to stop loving you. Maybe I don’t get to love someone else for now or forever. Maybe you were my only chance of falling in love, at least I loved you with no inhibitions. And that my dear, I will never regret. I don’t regret being vulnerable and giving you the pieces of what was left of my heart. I don’t regret giving you my all, even though it was never enough. I don’t regret that I got to love you, I’m happy I found you. I’m glad I took my chance in love and went all in.
This days I wear a cheap ring on my ring finger to fool the world that I’m taken. I have a cheap wedding band on my wrist too. I don’t wanna move on. Not just yet. I know you have moved on, thanks to all our mutual friends. They keep me posted,both in words and in pictures. I have contemplated making a scrapbook from all those pics of you and the girl you loved after me. And caption it with the quotes our mutual friends use. Or should I frame them and put those pics on my dressing table. Basically I don’t know why they send me those pics or why your love life is all over sudden the talk of town.
On other news, I would like to meet your weak little bird someday. The one whose arms you sunk into and denied me spilled blood and great war. The one that stopped you from ruining us grandly, break all the glasses and set the house on fire. The girl you loved after me.
This past few months i have been busy, stuck talking about my pain, the one you caused when you broke my heart. I think I like it here,a little too much. I like the fact that I get to have you in my dreams and I get to daydream about in peace. I like the fact that though we are separated I get to stay in love. It’s so hard to be free when the leash that holds you prisoner is wrapped around your own heart.
I let my heart love you even when you are not mine. The tectonic plates that formed a Continent on my heart when you said “Hello” still has your name on it. Your face is still my screensaver. I have your number memorized somewhere and it’s still saved as 911. We might be separated but my heart knows you are still ours. Sometimes I pity her(my heart) how she loves you as fiercely as she did when we were together. She hasn’t stopped beating for you, broken as she may be.
Just because I said it’s okay if you walk away doesn’t mean I ever intend to stop loving you. Not as at this day, my love. Unless someone super awesome walks by, you my dear, are still my kryptonite. You are still the Superman to my Lois.
Just another rumble.