I’m off dating for now my love. It has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with me.
Maybe it’s because I’m a victim of circumstances or all this is just in my head.
Maybe it’s because right now I have dreams to chase and a life to build.
Maybe it’s because I met someone I liked a lil too much and they left me.
Maybe it’s because I’m just in my early twenties.
Or it’s because I’m trying to figure things out.
There are a lot of excuses I could give. I could do this all day and night. Tell you why I ain’t committing. But bottom line is I’m not ready.
A lot of things are happening in my life. Its all jumbled up inside my head. My life is a mess and I’m a beautiful mess. Nothing I can offer Right now but all this bits and pieces of my life. I have nothing solid to offer, not even dreams.
I could give you my heart, but I gave it away sometime back, at least the good parts of it. I’m too ashamed to offer what’s left of it. It’s not fair, you deserve a whole heart, not bits and pieces of what’s left of it.
I could give you my life but there’s nothing to give other than the beating heart and a life line that keeps me going. Is that all you want from your wife?
I could give you love but I’m a terrible lover. I don’t think I even know how to give love, receiving love? That’s even worse. I could love you here and there, especially when our blood is turned into alcohol and we are a little lonely and we both the cheapest option. But that’s all the love you getting. In the morning I will be sober and I won’t even want a handshake.
Basically, stay stuck wherever you are. Right now I’m sworn off relationships. If you walk by, I don’t think I can handle one more right person but wrong timing.
I don’t think I can survive one more broken anything, be it hearts or promises or whatever.
I’m not in a good place.
I guess that’s reason enough for you to delay.
For the sake of us both, stay away a little longer.
Just another rumble.