FIRST-TIME FLYER FAQ

Q: What is the best way to relieve earaches caused by changes in cabin pressure?
A: Chewing gum. Also, kissing.
Q: Which is the best seat: window, center, or aisle?
A: Window, definitely. The world is quite a sight from 32,000 feet above it. Note that a window means your traveling companion may then be stuck next to a spectacularly loquacious bore. Kissing (your companion, not the bore) is also effective in this situation.
Q: How many times per hour is cabin air refreshed?
A: Twenty.
Q: How many people can an airline blanket comfortably cover?
A: Two. Be sure to raise the seat arm between you and snuggle as close as possible for maximum coverage.
Q: How is it possible that humans invented something as amazing as an airplane and something as awful as a nuclear bomb?
A: Human beings are mysterious and paradoxical.
Q: Will I encounter turbulence?
A: Yes. Into all lives a little turbulence must fall.

Just another rumble.

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