My best friend called me last night, she sounded low. This is the conversation we had.
Me: what’s going on with you?
BFF: I broke up with my boyfriend today. It’s too much drama. His ex girlfriends all over the place. I read through his messages and one lady threatened to make his life terrible. And they are stalking me.
Me: You are just being paranoid. And why exactly are you breaking up?
BFF: You weren’t listening? I said it’s because of his girlfriends.
ME: I heard you. I’m just wondering is it because they are stalking you or you are touching his phone. That means you are stalking him. Or is it because his exes are planning to ruin his life. And that’s the kind of thing you can’t stay and watch. I’m just wondering.
BFF: You are hopeless.
ME: hey miss, I’m trying to help. And I can’t help if I don’t get the big picture.
BFF: the big picture is I’m single, do you have plans? We can go out and have fun.
ME: I don’t have plans. But I can be bought. Give up your red dress. And Darling I ll do anything you say. I will even dance on the table.
ME: Good. Then I have plans. And I’m not available to entertain your single self.
BFF: Whatever. You will have the dress.
ME: cheers. Let’s celebrate
Me: BTW how are you holding up?
BFF: I ll be fine.
BFF: don’t worry about me. And please don’t make plans this weekend. Not even a date with a book stupid.. Goodnight
She hanged up on me. I didn’t get a chance to disagree. Look on the brighter side, I got the dress
Then I woke up this morning and from three of my favorite blogs. They are singing the same song. With topics like, “ten steps to let go”. ” don’t settle for less, walk away if you feel inadequate “and a million other insane topics. I know you have read something on this one.
Our generation is pretty fucked up. We want perfect and we agree we ain’t perfect. We want Hollywood kind of love. Which is impractical and that’s why it’s on TV. If walking away fixes things then I guess I’m going home today and advise one of my aunt to leave her loser husband. She has been married for over 25 years. Imma tell her there’s someone better for you out there. Just dump your husband’s sorry ass and let’s get you somebody better! She is still in her thirties BTW, so we can get sexy back. How about that?
Stop walking away when things get tough. How about you try holding on? To the ladies, I don’t understand men psychology and I’m not the least bit interested. I like the surprises. Don’t bother understanding them, just love your man.
He didn’t pick your call? Okay. Wait he ll call back. Maybe ten years from now but he will call back anyway. You think he is cheating on you? Hunt down for that girl and find out what she got and you missing. If its something you cannot emulate then share. And maybe there’s no girl to begin with. He left the bathroom dirty? Well this is a legit reason to dump his sorry ass you know. Just clean up or ensure you always the first to shower. Or shower together. Problem solved. It’s an irritating ex problem? We all have had those sometime. Give him space to sought out things. He didn’t do what he promised? He either forgot or didn’t have the means or something came up. Recurring unfulfilled promises? Talk about it with him.
The point is don’t just walk away when they stop being perfect. When curtains close and they just become human;hopeless, imperfect and less attractive.
Don’t read those blogs. Or blog posts that sell break ups. They are mostly written by sad singles like me. I’m not sad though. Have you checked their relationship status? You ll be surprised. Check mine out to start with!
Don’t listen to your girlfriends. Don’t even tell your girlfriends your problems. They ll either talk you to a break up or sabotage your relationship.
Remember your relationship is unique on it’s own. It shouldn’t be like your last and it won’t be like anyone’s. Just do your thing, your way.
He could be physically abusing you and that’s his way of saying I love you. He could be showering you with presents and that’s just who he is. He could be emotionally abusing you, but that’s who he is. And I’m sure you knew all this things from the start, then was your chance not to stay. But we are here and now. Stay. Stay until you say the safe word, I heard it’s suppose to be something like ‘banana’. The safe word I mean! When you say banana, bingo! Time to walk away.
Until next time friends, don’t get yourself single!
Just another rumble.