Before I Put My Head Down

Before I put my head down I need to know, will you roll your hands on my bare skin sometimes? Will you rub my feet after a long day, once in a while? Will you rub my back on the nights that I lack sleep? Will you read me a book( in your soothing voice) just so I could fall asleep?

Before I put my head down I need to know, will you be my cheerleader? My biggest fan and my muse. Will you stay up all night so I could read to you some of my thoughts. They are usually unfinished poems, undone prose and mostly rumbles.Will you let me read you my favorite lines and favorite conversions in the books I’m reading? Please tell me you won’t get tired of all this things that excite me. My love, can you handle my heart?

Before I put my head down I need to know,  can handle me on my bad days?  Will you seat by me when I’m brooding. Not say a word, let’s watch the sunset in quite. Will you also let me have a peaceful morning on such days? Just serve me coffee if you are trying to help but shutting up will just be fine. I will need a very strong coffee to get through the day. And love, it sometimes has nothing to do with you. I never have a solid reason of what’s wrong. Sometimes it’s my hormones messing with me.

Before I put my head down, I need to know, can you handle me on my good days?  Can you withstand loud music on such days? Will you go out with me so that we can dance the night away?  Will you let me get giddy and excited over little things like getting to grab the last slice of pizza or swallowing a sip of beer without throwing up. On such days I would love to hear all the tiny bits about your day. I will be on your case the whole time. I will want to hold your hand every ten seconds. Happiness make me restless, can you handle that?

Before I let my head down I need to know, can you handle me on the other days? The days that I’m neither brooding or happy. The days that nothing is going on. The days that curling up in bed with a good book sounds great but we have work to do and bed and books ain’t an option. Because Darling, we will have a lot of such days. Will you motivate me to push on? Give me a reason why we both need our jobs. Kiss me goodbye with a reminder not to get myself fired. Will you?

Before I put my head down, will you be a quite company when I get an inspiration to write. Will you seat by my side in the local bar/cafe just so we can both unwind. Let the days worries and hassle melt away. I unwind through writing, I hope you do that too.

Before I put my head down I need to be sure that I won’t regret showing you the parts of me I haven’t showed anyone before. Because Darling, putting my head down means breaking all the walls.

Before doing all that, are you sure you can handle the real me? The raw, the unguarded, uncalculated, the human, the perfectionist, the cynic and a million other shades of what I’m made off. Baby, are you ready to find out that after all I’m human, with fears and scared and that sometimes I cry too. And that sometimes I laugh a lot. And that I’m not always playing games, sometimes I seat by the window and just enjoy the sunset.

Just another rumble.


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