Since the day you left, everyday has been a struggle not to call you or text. Some days I won and others I failed terribly. On the days I texted/called I ended up feeling worse than before. Emotional rollercoaster, that’s how my life has been.
I was never suppose to devote my life to one person or let my heart beat for anyone. The thing is, with hearts you can never predict. I had build walls so well around it, I know how you did, I mean get past my walls. You removed brick by brick, you weren’t in a hurry, and before I knew it, the city(my heart) was invaded and the wisest thing to do was surrender, as advised by my right hand(best friend). In retrospect, I shouldn’t have heed that particular counsel, who knows, maybe if I would have fought back, slim as the chance was, I would have won.
Maybe I have been stuck talking about the pain rather than moving on because it’s safe and there are no risks involved. Maybe talking about the pain is my coping mechanism. Maybe I’m just a fool to be stuck on the past. Or maybe I’m brave to talk about it. I don’t know, it’s all about perspective.
Today as at now I feel like I can get over you. Today in the morning I felt like I could finally survive without you. Maybe my hormones are just messing with me, tomorrow will come and I will cave, go back to that shitty dungeon of what left of my life. The broken pieces, broken promises and broken heart that you left behind. Pieces that I should pick but I lack the strength to even try or think about it. I’m not strong enough to clean house this time round. Today was good, it’s not tomorrow yet and so today, I’m saying ” fare thee well my love.”
I hope life treats you well and I hope you finally found happiness and if you are still looking, as at today, I pray someday you will find it.
Just another rumble.