Don’t Stop Believing In Us

I’m going to need a lot more of you if you want what’s left of me”

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Don’t stop believing till the end, have faith in us. I’m not saying our relationship will be 50-50, far from it, In a perfect world, maybe, but our world is far from perfect. We are perfectly imperfect for each other. Sometimes I will only be able to give you 10% and other days I can afford 90%…. On the days I offer 30% please stay strong enough and pump in 70% for both of us. We gonna need sacrifice from both of us to survive. I promise, no matter the weather, I will give something, even if it’s as little as 1%.. It doesn’t matter how bad things are, I will always try. Hold on for both of us too, it might get rough,actually it will get rough and Believing might seem impossible but don’t lose faith in us. A little faith might be the only thing that Will keep us going sometimes.

There will be good times, that’s for sure. We will make a lot of memories together. I want to feel everything under the sun with you. Every emotion I have imagined, read in a book or movie. I want us to live through all our favorite love songs. I will make you feel like you my only one, I will love all of you and I won’t give up on you ……  I want us to be the love poems we read online and I want us to live through all the love poems I will bleed. There’s no holding back. I promise to remove all the bricks you used to build all those walls around your heart, soul and body. I will remove them one by one, slowly and carefully you won’t feel the pain. Then we Will build you back brick by brick, this time we will erect a tower where your walls used to be. The tower is not to protect you from the world, but a playground, our playground, a building long enough to start a city. It will be our safe place, our safe Haven. Each brick will be laid with love. We might bleed and sweat while building, but in the end, babe, it will be worth it.

Have faith in us, enough faith that as much as we are together, you still have dreams to pursue. I can only support you, but the path you choose is entirely your own. Your dreams, never leave them behind, chase them with everything you have, sometimes it will be at the expense of our time together, I know. More work will mean less time together but that doesn’t mean I will ask you to slow down, I want you to be the best version of yourself, it’s through hard work and dedication that all Great things under the sun were achieved. If you go too fast, I will ask you buckle up, I might install a speed limit secretly so that you don’t die on me but I ll never ask you to stop. If things don’t workout for you, remember my arms are and will always be home. We will figure things out.

I want to grow old with you. Have faith in us, don’t you Ever stop believing.

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Sometimes when we are touching I can’t even hear my thoughts. Part of me thinks that’s dangerous, part of me knows it dangerous.

Sometimes when we are kissing I can’t feel my legs. Part of me thinks that’s dangerous part of me knows it’s dangerous.

Sometimes when we are holding hands I feel like I’m invincible. Part of me thinks that’s dangerous, part of me knows it’s dangerous.

Sometimes when we are talking I feel like I’m floating. Part of me thinks that’s dangerous, part of me knows its dangerous.

You might choose not to stay, and that’s what scares me the most.

Losing you is going to hurt, for sure

Love Never Felt This Good

The last time I felt this connection with anyone or anything was 2012, the year I fell in love with coffee. Before 2012 coffee was just a beverage like tea, milo etc etc. It was just something I had because it was an option. One day something switched, and baby, I was hooked. I fell in love, hard, with coffee.

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I grew up in some small town somewhere in the rift. This days they call it ‘The City of Champions’. It probably has something to do with athletes or something. Campus didn’t provide anything special either, I was stuck in some remote place they call Njoro. Other than The Campus (Egerton), abso-fucking-lutely nothing went on there.

I woke up one day and packed my bags, showed up in the city with no plan, no fare back and of course no solid reason. I hoped I would hate the place,hunt down for my big brother and beg him to take me back home. Or even worse, I hoped I wouldn’t last a day here. So, I would have ended up calling everyone I know to do a harambee or some initiative of #takeRirihome. I had played several scenarios in my head, and none had involved me falling in love. But again, nothing ever goes according to plan.

I keep saying that I will go back home but chances of that happening is getting slimmer with each day that goes by. I like it here. I like the hassle, the crazy traffic and how the city is always on the move. It doesn’t stop, not even twilight. I like the way the city is always awake. I like the 24 hours yellow lights from my window (definetly not my house) but does it matter?

The city is so huge, makes me feel invisible. It’s the same feeling coffee gives me Every morning. And the infinite possibilities and opportunities around here turns me on, literally. What’s the worse that could happen? Failing. If that happens we can always go back home. It’s never that serious. 

I have been in love before but love never felt this good. I’m hooked. I want to lay on his chest (Nairobi) forever. It’s not a comfortable place, but who said I was looking for comfortable? My boyfriend is so good at being bad.

Tea With Life

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I’m having tea with Life,
And his band of Disappointments.
They dine at my expense,
And they’re a hungry bunch of guests. 

Tea turned into Supper,
Where the Disappointments drank
My finest wine,
And Life wiped his cruel mouth
On my tablecloth. 

You can’t have supper without desert,
So they ate up more of my 
Food for thought.
And if you stay for desert,
You may as well spend the night. 
So they did
And burgled my pantry of hopes
For a midnight snack. 

One night was lovely,
So Life cackled, “Why not stay two?”
And two turned to a week,
And a week turned into 
My sickeningly merry guests
Moving into my dreams,
And inviting in Doubt,
To live with them too,
And of course
Pay no rent. 

So I watch my chaotic household
Of a skull,
Where Life has made himself at home 
And brought all of his friends. 
I stare dully at my ruined
Dining room of thought,
Which they have dominated.
And look wearily for a spare idea
In my raided cupboards. 

I’ve never been one
To evict friends,
So I suppose they’re here to stay.
But learn a lesson from me,
And don’t ever
Have Life over for tea.