Thank God For Coffee And Wine

There are a lot of things under the sun we should be thankful about. Earth and life for example or should I say, a planet that supports life? Whatever. Then this planet came with two magical drinks, I like to call them the nectar of life.

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Most people wish for money, gold, riches, diamonds and silver. I wish for those things too, I’m human too. Again, this human is also thankful and Glad she can access coffee and wine meanwhile, while she awaits her wishes to be fulfilled.  I think  the best about being an adult is wine and coffee. We wanted so much to grow up, then we realize it sucks being an adult but at least we can legally purchase wine and no one gives you crap because you drinking too much Coffee. See where I’m going with this?

If it’s too early for wine, that means it’s Coffee time and when it’s too late for coffee, yaaay, it’s wine time. When the sun goes down, baby let’s start that bottle of wine. When the sun comes up, just give that cup coffee and shut the fuck up.

There’s nothing like too much coffee or too much wine or a big glass. Coffee gives you the grace to deal with assholes throughout the day. You haven’t stabbed your coworkers, yet, thanks to that coffee you had in the morning. You call your boss by their name and not Dick, with a smile on your face, look at you, you are coffeed. You have kept your job this long, thanks to coffee. You don’t shout,”shut the fuck up” at work, you smile gracefully and use words like please, thank you, I’m glad you had fun this weekend, look Leslie we really don’t care that your daughter knows how to use the potty, please stop talking. See? Grace.

Wine let’s you forget all that crap and bullshit you have been dealing with all day. It let’s you sleep like a baby. It let’s you cook dinner, and not poison everyone in that house. It even makes you think you Like your neighbors cat, so you let it in when it rains. It makes the evening merry when dealing with loved one’s. Wine is magical, it keeps the family together. A family that drinks wine together, stays together. So baby, pass that bottle and let’s get started with this family time business. I will cook dinner, help the kids with homework and hangout with you, all so gracefully, you won’t notice I have killed y’all in my head.

Pay day is here, let’s buy wine, coffee and thinks to eat with them. End of grocery list. Enough wine that won’t run out and unlimited coffee. We can live on bread only, but we can’t survive without those two. God made man, man made Coffee and wine. Let’s thank God for that, first. 

A lot of lives have been saved due to Coffee and wine. Personally I have avoided jail time, thanks to those two. I would Like to extend my gratitude to God first, then man second. Y’all have made my life tolerable. I know I’m awesome and stuff, but it’s good to be awesome and awake during the day and awesome and asleep at night, don’t you think? This wouldn’t have been possible without the nectars of life.

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