blogging · Heartbreak · Inspiration · Love · Opinion

Someday I Might Be Your Lover 

​Another Flag On Your Bedpost

When was the last time you slept alone? I think the answer is you don’t remember. Night after night there is always someone to kill the lonely. You can’t let anyone stay long enough to see your demons and you don’t like sleeping your bed that much. 

How many flags on your bedpost will be enough so that you can finally deal with your demons?

How many bodies and fluids exchange before you decide to get clean? 

Sex is good, organsm even better but those are just distractions. I guess it’s time, time to confront the past. Go back to the neighborhood you grew up and see if you can reconcile with the past. Go back to your former school, see if you can make peace with the past. Call all your exes and try and make peace with that too. Call your first love, let them know they messed you up. Just start from somewhere! 

Confront your demons one by one. You can run but you can’t hide. The past has a way of leaking in the present, I wouldn’t want to see you freak out because of that. Demons have a way of spilling when we least expect, I don’t want to suffer through your nightmares either. Don’t be a shamed of your baggage, everyone has a little skeleton in their closet. The only way to move forward is by cleaning out your closet. 

Go ahead honey, I will hold your hand. Just don’t say you love me before you deal start dealing with your demons. I would like to be a bandaid, another flag on your bedpost but I have been that too many times, it’s stupid to repeat mistakes over and over again. Besides, I like you a little too much, maybe we will work out something. Something solid and worth fighting for.  For now; I will be your friend, I will be your sometimes therapist and confidant(if you want to talk). Who knows, Someday I might be your lover. Make yourself proud, for your own sake, deal with all those baggage that leak from your eyes every once in a while when you put your guard down. Plus I think you use so much keeping that guard up all the time. 

I don’t want you to be perfect but I want you to try slay some of those demons consuming your soul. I don’t know your story, don’t tell me. Go right ahead and deal. Honey, I don’t want perfection but I want you to be a work in progress. You don’t have to be with me, no, no. But I wouldn’t want you to keep that much Band-Aids in your cabinet. Drugs, sex, booze, night life…… I wonder, how bad is it? Very bad I suppose. When was the last time you were sober? That has SOS all over it. 

Maybe you should see a therapist. That’s a good start. Or start talking about it, I hate that look in your eyes Like you carrying the whole goddamn world on your shoulder. Your York might be heavy but maybe it’s time to put it down might for freedom. 


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