I Don’t Need Saving 

I have been burned to the third degree. Felt helpless. Cried myself to sleep a couple of times. Drunk too much. I have been miserable. I have been very miserable. I would like to blame life. I would love to blame Mother Nature. I would like to Blame life. I would like to blame everything and everyone but me. But in the end, all I have is myself to blame. The choices I made. The places I left my heart. The persons I  let my heart believe in. The shooting stars I let all my hopes and dreams believe in. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything comes back to me. 
When I tell you I don’t need saving…. You have to believe me. I might seem like a mess, a beautiful mess but I didn’t stumble to be a mess. I made choices, some bad, some good and others were just choices. Every morning I woke up and instead of coffee I did tea. Instead of working,i slept. Instead of smiling I frowned. Instead of calling my family and friends I let their calls go to voicemail. Every yes instead of no and vice versa. Every decision I made led me here. It might seem like I don’t add up to much. You might think I could be more only if you saved me. You are entitled to your opinion, beliefs and perception. 
Here’s the good news, I don’t need saving. You get what you see. if you don’t like it, leave it. Don’t think for a minute that you could save me. Try saving yourself when you still can. Save the world if you can. Take me as I am, flaws and all. Bad choices and all. Mediocre at best and all. I can’t change even if I tried. I can’t run even if my life depended on it. 
Sometimes you are 22 and you think you have everything figured out. Sometimes you are  23 and walking down the isle in white. Sometimes you are 24 without a career. Sometimes you are stupid and fall in love again. I mean, nothing seem to be a sure bet. Then you fall in love once again and you hope to The Guy above that they take you as you are. That they don’t try saving you. That they understand that it’s been a long time being you that you can’t stop. That they get that you are weird, broken and jaded and they don’t try fixing you. It’s alot of work to be broken you know. Because you really don’t need saving, maybe some love. 


One thought on “I Don’t Need Saving 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s