Monogamy 

“Welcome all as we explore different relationship lifestyle that you could explore with your lover or and lovers.It’s going to be an interesting and educating I promise.”

Riri 

Monogamy; a lifestyle which I subscribe to and it has nothing to do with the early life conditioning I was exposed to or anything as s cool but everything to do with my unending unresolved issues;daddy’s issues, pack of self love, self distraction issues and several other issues that I may or may never deal with. I’m barely loving myself everyday so it’s actually pushing it to love one other person you know. So I became monogamous by default. 

The Good Book approves of this lifestyle.The one man one woman rule. It’s what the movies is selling too. It’s approved across several cultures and religions. Monogamy might be the only concept of relationships most of us understand. Some of us picture walking down the isle to forever with their person. ‘happy ever after.‘ Has been skewed towards monogamy. 

It’s also seem easy on paper;Your lover is your best friend and your whole world. You live for them and they you. It’s perfect. It’s a union where two become one. An African man once said that a couple that has the same mind die together. It’s what the white man called ‘soulmate‘. If you find your soulmate you found your person and it’s the perfect scenario that monogamy has been tailored to suit.

It’s not easy staying faithful. I will tell you that for free. You will be tempted to cheat a couple of times and you will be regarded as “faithful” if you don’t act on your desires. If you act then you become a cheat which BTW it’s frowned upon in a monogamous setting. The whole lifestyle is based on sacrifice and suppression of desire towards others but your mate. You are expected to only love and make love to only your partner for the rest of your life. It might be improbable but not impossible. With the “right person” it ain’t that hard. In case you cheat and you caught you may or may not be forgiven but what do I know?

I think if you want monogamy to work you need to find your person. Someone with almost the same issues like you. Someone with the same sexual drive (very important for an active sexual life for life). Someone you are in sync  with. Someone whose vibrating frequency is like your own. Someone you both dig each other’s vibe. It’s not easy finding said person and I don’t even know why monogamy is popular. You will kiss so many frogs before finding your person which is frustrating sometimes. but some people are lucky and they find their person the first time around. 

The ten commandments of monogamy 

  1.  Do not cheat.
  2. Do not desire any one sexually but your partner.
  3. You do not love anyone more than your Partner. Not your siblings. Not your parents. Not your gods. 
  4. Your people are my people and your God will be my God 
  5. Assurances of love is part of the deal. Tell them you Love them as much as you pray and some more.
  6. Hold each other hands through it all. Both literally and figuratively.
  7. Forgiveness is paramount for your survival 
  8. Shower each other with love.
  9. Trust is key. If that’s lost all is ruined.
  10. Add any other rule as time goes by to survive.

PS. The commandments are written from a feminine point of view.

Despite having so many rules. The idea that one person should love you for life I think that’s what makes this lifestyle popular. To be loved all flaws and perfection for life unconditionally is a fantasy that humans try to make a reality. After all we live in the world of make believe. However how I impractical. I am heavily human and maybe that’s why am a member.

It’s nearly impossible to love and devote to one person for life. Something no matter how flawless on paper must have weaknesses.from personal experience i  have fallen in love with strangers I never said hello to maybe because their walk or smile. I have had deep soul crashing moments with people I will never see again. I have fallen in love with some online part personalities I may never meet, it must have been something on how they write or their word prowess. I love my best friend for life. I adore my dysfunctional family. I love travelling I don’t see myself giving that one up for anything. I love my personal space. If my partner’s expectations is half the one’s in the commandments of monogamy then someone will have to live one big fat lie. I can’t help but fall in love with moments even though am committed to a relationship. I don’t know. I guess my love for life is what has ruined my past relationships because I cannot bring myself to devote my everything to one person. Maybe not devoting everything is the new cheating … but what do I know? If there’s a way of having practical expectations then am monogamous all the way. 

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