What I Think Monogamy Is About 

Disclaimer 1: This is my opinion and not the absolute truth but the truth as I see it. It’s what most people call opinion.
Disclaimer 2: My truth was realized through personal experiences, stories i collected from friends and strangers. 

The entire concept of Monogamous relationships is based on; one man one woman or one woman one woman or one man one man ratio. It’s believed that parties involved have romantic relations with their partners and only their partners. It’s frowned upon if anyone involved gets involved romantically with someone else. That’s what they call cheating. People in Monogamous relationships are expected to go through life with one person for life. Crazy,right? People are crazy. 

Riri 

Here is unedited opinion of what monogamy is about from a girl fro.a very small town and how she thinks it works:

  1.  If you don’t get caught then You didn’t do it. If you asked you can deny deny deny. You are allowed to do what may upset your partner as long as you don’t get caught.
  2. Cheating doesn’t necessarily involved an affair. Sometimes it’s watching”our show”  without your partner or going for an adventure you had planned together without them. Sometimes harmless flirting can be viewed as cheating. Having a minor attraction towards a stranger might be viewed as betrayal.Deleting personal emails and messages might cause suspicion. Just to mention a few forms of cheating. Sometimes it’s actually having an affair. Basically, it involves a lot of half truths. killing your truth so you don’t upset your partner and avoid conflict as much as possible.
  3. It’s about compromise. Like preparing both coffee and tea because your partner prefers tea with two spoons of sugar for breakfast and you can’t survive without your morning coffee. It’s about waking up for morning Glory when you would rather really sleep. Showing up with sweatpants and heels on your date night because you promised you will show up though you don’t feel like dressing up and it’s about them letting you because they understand that sometimes you feel not so human. It’s About”running for Mau marathon” because they scored free tickets and you can’t let them down because of the effort they input to get those tickets even though you would rather do TV  shows Marathon. 
  4. It is about pretending you like your anniversary gift. Even though you wish you could switch gifts and everyone to keep what they got the other.
  5. Staying on phone to have a conversation when one of you skips town and talk about stuff. Sometimes you have to set an alarm when you are in different time zones for that ten minutes phonecall. 
  6. Showering together not because it’s romantic or You have turned into some environment enthusiast where you both are saving water or something as cool but because no one likes showering in a used bathroom.
  7. It’s about sharing friends..ghaaa… That leaves a bad taste in my mouth though it happens. You get to hangout together so much that you start sharing friends. Which comes with a lot of;she said,he said scenarios mord often than you care to admit. you somehow find a way to work around that. When you break one of you will keep the friends,messy! I know.
  8. Sometimes your partner becomes the center of your world. They become your cheerleader. They play on your team. They play for keeps. They pick you up. They take care of you when you sick. Basically, they become your person and you even forget how your life used to be without them. 
  9. It’s about building a life together and planning a future together. Compromising and sacrificing even tailoring your dreams and plans to suit each other 
  10. It is about finding a way of respecting personal space. Being careful not to neglect their needs and not crowding them too much to suffocate them. It’s tough,i know. But a healthy relationship needs balance of energies .
  11. It’s about open communication. Communicating is key. Talking about stuff might help. I used to do bikini wax once I was home for holidays and I didn’t shave. When i got back I was panicking because i hadn’t taken care of my flower for a while. When we were at it he said he could feel my pubes. I was scared and insecure the entire time. The next day I shaved. Apparently he liked my pubes but I was so used to shaving. I would have saved my soul trouble of shaving with a simple communication. Dammit! 

PS. My journey on understanding human relationships continue. You can email, comment or share. Tell me your thoughts. I like hearing from you.

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