A Conversation With Wayne That I Want The Internet To Read

Disclaimer 1. Wayne is the blogger of iamrenegadeblog.wordpress.com. You should totally check his blog. The boy isn’t good he is great. He gives fiction a new named.

Disclaimer 2. The conversation you are about to read may sound like we are best friends. No we are not. Maybe siblings. Probably my brother from another mother. No we are not cool siblings who love each other. We are typical siblings. We obviously fight more than anything. Yes. We hate each other’s company and can barely tolerate one another, a day together, not fighting,is obviously stretching it. Fun fact: we also hate everyone. So it’s kinda hard not to hangout. Tough. I know.

Disclaimer 3. Wayne doesn’t know I talk about him online. Tell him and I will kill you.

McDzan: hey stranger 

(McDzan is not a pet name. He named himself. Alter ego something something or maybe he hates his birth given name. I will tell you this for free,he hates his baptismal name more)

Dee: Hey back. How have you been?

McDzan: Whatever.

Dee: Don’t start with That attitude. I kinda missed you,you know 

McDzan: What attitude?

Dee: Whatever 

McDzan: uhu uhu…

Dee: Thanks for texting BTW.. I had something to ask. No it’s not a favor. More like a salon topic 

McDzan: ehe?

Dee: Do you think people change?

McDzan: No

Dee: Can you try explaining using more than one word?

McDzan:No. They don’t change.

Dee: Double negation? Progress.

McDzan:I know, right?

Dee: You will have to indulge me. Call if you want. Stop texting like it’s that time of the month.

McDzan: Hahaha .. look who is back. The hormonal bitch is back

Dee: go on boy. Indulge me

McDzan: Ask nicely.

Dee: Please Wayne. Please Wayne. Indulge me 

McDzan: Good girl.. So, people don’t change. That’s a fact. They might evolve probably. They might adjust. But they don’t change. Like they say read Claire North  people are just people doing people’s things. Sometimes they screw up. Sometimes they do good. People are not good or bad they are just people. Does that answer your question? I need to go back to watch Green lantern. 

(Worst movie ever)

Dee: I think people evolve.

McDzan: I thought I said that.

Dee: That should count for something.

McDzan: Of course it does.

Dee: indulge me

McDzan: How long do I need to be here before I can go back to my movie?.

Dee: When you give me something solid, Mr. I did psychology and I would rather do everything than indulge you.

McDzan: fine. People don’t change.it doesn’t matter how you look at it. Do With that whatever you want. I’m bored. Ciao Bella 

Dee. Bye .

PS. I’m only Dee when it comes to Wayne. No it’s not a pet name. Just like he is McDzan . 

(Excerpt from the book I will never write)


An Open Letter To The Generation That Raised Millennials 

Everyone below 35 is somewhat a Millennial but 30somethings aren’t that affected. I will stick to talking for twenty somethings because I understand the full capacity for being misunderstood. I feel like Jack in the Titanic where the only thing keeping me afloat is a darn piece of wood. Barely surviving. I know what’s like to be a twenty something these days.
First I want you to know that we are not lazy. We are probably depressed that’s why we sometimes sleep our life away. We hide in our rooms because we are not emotionally equipped to hangout with people all the time, some of us need time alone to get by. We like being left alone to sought out our emotions just in case you haven’t noticed we have so much to deal with.We are the Generation that was raised with house helps,cartoon and the internet. we are the Generation that our parents were too busy working they didn’t get to actually get to know us. we are the Generation that was raised with parents, broken homes, unavailable parents and excess homework. Then you wonder why we have so many issues. daddy’s issues, mommy’s issues, anxiety, depression, abandonment issues, bipolar, neurosis and other issues that only therapist can pronounce. Yes. We are fucked up.No ma’am I just can’t get over depression or anxiety. No ma’am I just can’t stop cross dressing I feel confident wearing ‘men clothes ‘ and I would rather do lipstick even though am a boy. I can’t get over by being in love with same gender and it’s not something you pray about. If you think we created all these issues for ourselves remember that you the people that Raised us. We literally inherited and or copied them from you. What does that say about your parenting skills if we are lazy with unending issues?
Yes. We invented selfies and active social media life.But you the Generation that ruined the system. You ran down workers unions, inflated the economy, ruined pension, increased interest on students loan, made college extremely expensive and still managed to make policies that only suits you. I would rather sleep peacefully with our Instagram and selfies than lie in your bed of leaving  “terrible children for our earth and horrible earth for our children.” By terrible children I mean not full functioning humans because of unending mental health issues.

Yes. We are broke. We still ask for rent or live at home because whatever you did to the economy to get rich is exactly what’s making us poor. For starters, the Constitution that you adopted…a small country like Kenya to have 47 counties,what were you thinking? How did you imagine you would pay salaries and allowances by the way? The wage bill that was suppose to make our lives a little bit liveable you tamed it in Parliament because it doesn’t work for you. Why did you run down workers union and replaced it with bloody sucking soul crashing pyramid schemes with the name of professional but boards to run the show? Oh and you did this through the act of Parliament, so now that’s law and we can’t do anything about it. We have our degrees, our diplomas, our Masters with no hope for employment. A single job gets an average of 50 applicants for one position.Yes,you think we should start our own business… with what capital when we have HELB on our necks and you get listed on CRB with an Mshwari loan of 200 ksh. Business premises have ridiculous Goodwill rates and high rent it will be a miracle to survive out there. How do you people sleep at night? Corruption on the rise. You take the saying man eat society literally. You honestly don’t care.

No. We don’t think we are entitled. Your little survey on how we switch careers, write blog posts like this and constantly complain doesn’t hold any water. Look at the pot calling the kettle black. You the Generation that runs on titles. You want to be the who’s and who’s it doesn’t matter how many toes you stepped on. You steal everything just to make a name for yourselves. Public funds disappear, office funds disappear, employees privilege funds ran dry. You only care about how much you and your buddys get out of everything. You even have the guts to ask for sexual favors and or bribes for the limited jobs available and you call us selfish? What tinted glass are you people viewing the world from BTW? I would like to see what you see when you see us but from where we are standing….. we weep for you.Its pity. Again she asks…how do you sleep at night? If we have sugar babies all over it’s because you created an environment that supports that stop condemning us for your mistakes. 

Listen to me. we want to get married, have a family someday and even kids. The reason why we not dating just having sex and moving on is because we can’t even afford dating. How will we afford a home and have kids? We can’t even pay for wedding, remember the couple that did a wedding worth 100 ksh? Yes. Those are Millennials and you were all over social media trying to save them. In case you didn’t notice,most of us are going through the same.The only way I can reach my significant other is through the phone and we can’t afford to see each more than once a year. No. We can’t move in together because we are poor. You think we haven’t explored our options and wondered what a time to fall in love. Yes. What a time? We want to have all those things because other than NB being Millennials we are basic human beings. We say we won’t have kids because we can’t afford and when we do I have a feeling it might be too late. It’s not a badge of honor to be broke. Unlike you, we want to give our children better lives and when we see our shortcomings will only fuck them up then the wise thing to do is not have them.
We have a lot of cleaning up to do. Maybe we should start a revolution. Maybe we should publish blogs and get on with our lives and hope someday we will fix all the things you broke. Maybe we will actually do the right thing and save ourselves and our children. We might even save our planet from your sins and global warming. Yes, we will make our mistakes but I hope somehow it won’t be this bad to be a twenty something in future. I hope the transition of the world into a global village will produce positive results someday and things won’t be That bad for the next generation. For now we make do with what we have and hope to God we see another day.
Funny thing as much as you screwed us we won’t revenge when you finally retire that’s if you ever now that you retire at 60 with a hefty pension and get hired again as experts or run for political posts and heaven knows what. As in you never really retire. Not for sure. I digress.

I Want To Have Your Babies

In the 22 years have been roaming this godforsaken planet, I have been unsure about many things. I have had my doubts about religion, governments, the system and a bunch of shit I do not remember. Despite being the biggest doubting Thomas of the century, I have only been sure of one thing; NO KIDS FOR ME. It did not matter what the religion of  mother demanded or the beliefs of my mentor. Even when the pastor from the church dearest dad sometimes attended preached that our purpose on earth was to fill it or words to that effect, I was not swayed. As a little girl, mom said I was never big on cuddles and hugs.  Now as a young adult, the idea of being responsible for another being is scary but it doesn’t scare me if it will be him by my side. That kind of commitment is too much since am a self proclaim flight risk.  Recently my parents had another child and am still appalled by their decision. Anyway, I think they take ‘GO FILL THE EARTH’ literally. However, what do I know? While my friends are getting babies am adopting wine bottles and stone pets. While they are getting married am looking for more TV shows to watch and high heels to rock on their weddings. In addition, while they are settling down and building a simple life for themselves, am caressing the atlas wondering where the roads should take me. I know too well that all I need is a one-way ticket and I will be out of this place in a minute.

Then again, when you think you have everything figured out life sends you a surprised, this time round it was blood and bone wrapped in flesh and smart as fuck. he makes me wanna ditch the maps, throw caution to the wind and just marry him. If he asks me to marry him with nothing a grass made ring. He calms my chaos and fuels my passion. He makes settling down and building a home together seem like an adventure and not entirely giving up maps and the world.

He makes me feel like a natural woman. My womb is craving to carry  the seeds of his loins. Our kids will have my eyes and I hope they get his voice and intelligence. A cross between my vague memory and his detailed mind should amount to something. I hope good grades are gene transmitted  since our kids will need his flawless school record in case I actually take them to school. I hope the laziness gene skips one generation, it is bad enough to have a lazy mother am sure lazy kids will be tragic.  I hope they get his multi lingual capabilities. I hope they have his skin color and my perfect eyebrows. One thing should skip a generation, sarcasm and eye rolling. The last thing I want is for my daughter to roll her eyes at me and my son to drop words that reek of sarcasm every time we have a fight. Mommy should roll eyes and daddy to reek of sarcasm. 

Then again, as much as having his babies seems appealing I do not think it’s the greatest of ideas. I have had better in the past; reverse sea world where dolphins pet humans is much better than us being parents. Unless we raise them homeless, on the road, with no solid roots and decent education.  We will probably make them gay or gypsies. One thing I will make our daughter is to be a free woman. I will show her how to run with the moon and chase wolves. It will be his duty to teach our sons the ways of wolves and the free people. 

​An Open Letter To My Campus Family

There’s a chance that our forever ends here for most of us. I don’t know, maybe it doesn’t, maybe we get to walk the adult life together. But it doesn’t seem promising. Look at what has happened to us these past few months….We are scattered all over right now; there’s one somewhere in India doing her MSc, then there’s one in that place I don’t remember somewhere in Homabay, there’s one stuck in kitale, a few of you in Nakuru and a few more in Njoro, one is raising a baby somewhere in western, one is knocked up somewhere, some of you trying to set your record straight so that you get to graduate etc etc… We are all over, my friend. We made quite a family, I tell you. And we haven’t graduated yet, graduation is tomorrow for some of us.we will be out of that place that held so many memories. We all get out with a piece of paper,apparently. That  paper gives you power to read and write,who would have thought? Can we all laugh or clap or whatever to that!

What’s going to become of us? I think Evey will be a very rich professor somewhere. Wayne gets to drive a Jaguar before before 30, meets a woman crazy enough to willingly marry him at 35,publishes a few books here and there, he sells his soul to the ink and writes his life away. Linda gets married to a very rich guy somewhere and pops a few kids(we all should admit she was the keeper in the family) I might be a little bias on Linda maybe because she was that distant aunt who came visiting once in a while and we did the same. Bryan never gets married, gets a good job,a big screen and unlimited games and movies to go by. Vee gets a good job, a good mortgage plan, starts her own fashion line,imports things from Dubai and tries her hand in music a couple of times(Well,she had a good sense of fashion and voice all along). Naomi though she stayed for a few months in the family before walking out on us to find sanity, that one finds love,gets married, pops a few kids,sets up a home in a suburban, she learns to knit ugly sweaters that she sends us on Christmas, she knits all through old age in a tiny organized house somewhere (that one liked a quite life). Rodgers finds love a couple of time, runs away from it, ends up alone with cute puppies and stray kittens that eat human biscuits for dinner.  Mercy  finds love, gets to marry the love of her life, gets rich and pops a few kids and live in a mansion somewhere. Sharon gets to raise baby Milan, she gets a good job,start her own bakery where she create her own recipes,this venture will be a sweet highway to diabetes for a few individuals bc her products are so good and too addictive. Jenny (our other distant aunt) raises her son, acquires riches and fine things and travels the world. Vinerose(the love of my life and favorite human being, who never got too close to anyone but me, I think I didn’t want to share her with anyone) plus the only one whom I don’t want to write a story about will become all the things she want. I don’t want to predict or write her story because even now I still don’t want to share her with the world. Plus i plan on keeping her around for a very longtime, so i want her story to suprise me. At least that’s the story I would write about you people. Again, do I stick around to see how Your story unfolds? I hope so. 

So now, we don’t have to ditch class and stay indoors just because we can or drinking cheap alcohol before 11 a.m on Monday. No more playing dangerous drinking game of who gets drunk faster chugging keg(one more round of that, on me kids) though I know I will be the first to go down. No more experiments,testing each others boundaries; we toyed with each others emotions, mental health, Moods, body health etc. There was zero boundaries amongst us,now that I look at it. Sometimes we shamelessly crossed personal space in the name of intervention.

Sometimes I look back and wonder what was wrong with us. The best part, we raised each other. We saw each other grow up and fuck up grandly in a few occasions. Once or twice we witnessed one of our own fuck up and we were decent enough to give them space and let them pick up the pieces. We survived early pregnancies,brokenness, and Egerton. 

There are those we started with from the beginning. We lost a few good soldiers on the way, picked up others. Some of you walked into the family alone(I have a thing for strays) while others came with their own best friends. We were an Okay family with more crazies than Mathare. I loved y’all. The one’s that left before the end, I hope they found their own campus family somewhere. To the rest of you crazies that stuck around to the end, it was an interesting ride.
Graduation represents the end and the beginning of something I’m just not sure what it is. whatever may come I hope our friendship lives on, if not in the future then at least we will always have Egerton. 
I’m curios to see how the future unfolds for us all. I’m curios to see how many of us get to grow old together. I’m curious to see how long our friendship survives the hurdles and puddles of real life. I’m curios about the future and what it means to our friendship.

I’m curios to see how many weddings I get to plan and who needs us during trying times of the future. Do we get to help each other through it all or do we find new circles to lean on? I’m curios to see who amongst us get to stick together. Whom amongst us pair up  for life.who gets to stick out For who bla bla … Who gets to walk the streets of friendship with who for life. I will be happy to know our family wasn’t for nothing,in the end,at least it produced some meaningful friendships. Who stays around so we could walk the adult life together. I’m curious to see to who stays to witness my always failing or nonexistent love life.  Who gets to travel with me (will Evey keep the promise of being my travel Buddy? Or Wayne will decide to pick that role? Maybe Bry will surprise me) or who stays behind waiting for the travel stories. Who gets to stay long enough so we help each other make good/bad investments and purchase properties for posterity sake. Who stays long enough so I help them raise their kids and I remain the cool aunt who brings interesting/expensive gifts. Maybe I even get to live with vinrose in an island far away, we raise baby Bri and live happily ever after. 
I don’t know if we even have a chance of growing old together as a family but at least we had Egerton. We will always have Egerton.

The future is bleak,I can’t see it. There are a million possibilities of what will become of us all; Maybe we get to walk the walk with other people,people we haven’t met yet. Maybe we don’t get to see each other for life except but stay virtual friends, Or someone I knew I college, or once in a while drinking buddy,or a college roommate and stuff… The only thing that’s for sure, we will always have Egerton. Or maybe we become colleagues, business partners or neighbors. I don’t know…
Now I should probably stop typing before I my eyes tear. Before I start regretting all those times I didn’t show up when one of you needed me. Or that time we were ignoring each other because someone made someone fuckin mad. Or the days we banged doors, harsh words exchanged and stuff. Or the moments we witnessed someone self destruct and no one did a thing because we were done awarding bad behavior. Or that time I was hormonal and didnt open the door when one of you fuckers came home late. someone slept I don’t know where and I didnt have the decency to ask the next day. Or why I didn’t pick up the phone so someone messed up big time…
So many memories, so much pain. We had the good, the bad, the ugly, the hormonal, the painful, the other days,the broke days, the days we felt lost, misunderstandings along the way and all the things we experienced. Through it all, we survived college together as one big phat messed up family. 
Despite our separate ways, I hope we will all make a point of showing up in the big moments. Bunny once said,”it doesn’t matter if you doing legendary things if your friends are not there to witness.” I hope we will always have to share each others big moments. The first real job, the first house, the first kitten adoption,birthdays, anniversary,a promotion, first home, baby showers, engagement parties, graduation parties (further education),weddings, home coming and all the big moments that matter. Thanks very much Wayne, for showing up. You obviously the best thing that ever happened to me. 

Will You Marry Me

“Am willing to play ball, if a ring is promised”

I promise to be everything she expects from a daughter in-law. You said you come from a very respectable Christian family. I will go to church and get baptized. I hope joining the choir won’t be going a little overboard. Anyway am joining the choir. I love music, I don’t have a singing voice. A girl can play a little you know. I don’t care, as long as it earns me points. If your mom will nod with approval, why not?So, if she favours me, will you marry me? 

I promise I will learn how to cook good food.when I meet your mom I will pretend to love cooking. Maybe I should add cooking on my non existent list of hobbies, that’s not a little over board… . I will even lie that I spend my free time cooking, make up stories of baking Cookies with my dearest mommy and stuff. Possibly exaggerate a little on some bullshit recipe that grandma taught mom and that mom taught me. I will even suggest we try it in her kitchen. Pray  she turns the offer down. The last thing I need is blowing it. That would mean embarrassing my non cooking mostly dead ancestors. I don’t know why I think that would be embarrassing. Maybe it got something to do with washing dirty linen in public. But grandma didn’t love cooking and she wasn’t embarrassed about it.  Let’s not get sidetracked here, the goal is to win your mom over, any way. I need to know, Will you marry me then? 
If you wondering how far am willing to go. Dearling, the answer is as far as it takes. I am a woman, one who never backs down when she sets her eyes on something (you marrying me).  This girl is unstoppable. I will play this game like a Russian roulette. I play to win. So before I make my first step, before I start. Will you marry me if i get your mom to play?  Because dealing, it takes two to tango. I can win her over but Will you marry me? 
Reasons Why I Considered Marrying You

  • I want a ring
  • I want a ring
  • I want to go to Paris
  • I want to go to Paris
  • You love someone else, so a marriage of convenience will do. 
  • I want go get my mom off my back. 
  • I want a big ring, one I can pur on Instagram. A ring big enough to be Instagram Worthy. 
  • You don’t talk much, I could use a little silence right now. 
  • I don’t care about you, so it will work out think. 
  • Ooh.. And the only challenge is to get your mom to Like me. Challenge accepted. 

So, if I fulfill the quest, will you marry me? I need to know. If your mom gives us her blessing, will you pop the question? In Paris with an Instagram Worthy ring, that is!  

The Baby She Wanted

Blood stains after your pregnancy test was positive.Your first thought was to Google, Google gave you a false hope that it’s pretty normal to bleed during pregnancy. There was no need to raise alarm or anything. The bleeding went on for over 24 hours and you thought maybe you should see your doctor for a second opinion. After examinations and several tests you are told it’s nothing serious, go home, take a bed rest for a few days, it will stop. It’s nothing serious, you are assured. As promised, the bleeding stops, business as usual.

After two weeks and a few days, you start bleeding again. You don’t see a doctor, this time you give yourself a prescription. You stay indoors. The bleeding doesn’t stop, so you call your best friend to hangout with you. It gets worse, she takes you to hospital. You faint on the way, and when you finally conscious everyone is acting weird around you. The doctor comes and deep down you know it’s bad news. He says as gently as he can,”you lost the baby and there’s nothing we could have done…..” He keeps talking but you don’t hear a thing.
You are shocked, you don’t know if you should be glad that you alive or cry because you didn’t get to hold your baby. You switched to autopilot, that’s your way of dealing with stress. You always do what needs to be done, your mother didn’t raise you with the spirits of your ancestors to give up easily. Like the responsible adult you have become, you  call your mom, not to cry or anything, it’s because you are expected to.

You get to your place and mommy is there waiting for you. She hugs you, longer than usual. She made you something to eat, lots of soup enough to drown a dinosaur. Mommy sits by you, without saying a word which is odd, she is always talking. Then before she leaves, she tells you, “I understand”.
After the shock, denial settles in. You can believe you lost the only thing you that was suppose to save you. You are bleeding and mom is feeding you antibiotics but still you don’t want to accept that it happened. Especially not to you, you have heard stories about miscarriages,and it was just that, stories.

Then you started googling about”causes of miscarriage “.Google provided 100 pages worth of results.

After reading through half the results it hits you that several of those causes has actually happened to you.

That one time you skipped lunch might have caused you this, that time you forgot to take your IFAS drug might be the reason. Or was it that time you fought with your boyfriend the reason because it left you so stressed. Or maybe that one time you worked over time is the real reason.

Google has left you more confused that anything. You are even considering building a time machine and go back in time to have a do over. You promise not to mess up.

You can’t sleep at night now. And during the day you are on zombie mode. You have no idea what goes on in work and when you are home your demons won’t let you rest. You wonder what those lumps of blood held,was it a boy or girl?were they twins? How would it have looked like? What would you have named it? Your mind cannot shut down and when you finally fall asleep all you have are nightmares. Not the scary kind of nightmares, the beautiful dreams that picks on the scabs of your wounds. You see beautiful babies in your dreams and when you reach out to hold you wake up. It’s all an illusion and your brain is playing with your already broken heart.

How can the world be this cruel to you. Will this pain ever stop? Will the wound stop throbbing? Will the bleeding stop? You badly want all these to stop. You have even contemplated suicide.

You wonder how pathetic can your body be and not carry a little being to term. Your doctor said you can try again once you are healed. Are you even strong enough to give it another shot? What if you loose it again? Are you even strong enough to want to try. Is there a handbook of how to handle these kind of thing?

The baby she wanted, she didn’t get to hold. 

If I Should Have A Daughter

If I should have a daughter, the first lesson I will teach her is to love her body, and make a home out of it. I will teach her how to love her skin, the one thing that keeps her insides in place. I will teach her that the only validation that matters is the one that comes from herself. I will show her the ways of love, self love. Just enough love, not vanity or narcissistic. Just enough self love to find home under your own skin. 

If I should have a daughter, I will teach her how to show up for herself, not just when she is winning. She should up for herself, especially when she is not winning. That’s when she needs herself the most. Set her crown in place and like the Queen that I raised her to be, to show up for her own goddamn party. It might come out sometime as Selfish, but that’s the thing about love, it makes you Selfish. 

If I should have a daughter, I will teach her strength. I will teach her how to be her own hero, and strong enough to ask for a hero when she can’t find a hero in herself. I will teach her that sometimes strength is breaking down piece by piece either alone or in the arms of a loved one. That sometimes strength is drinking wine straight up from the bottle while crying alone in the bathroom. That sometimes strength is talking to someone about it. Sometimes strength is seeing things fall apart and doing nothing about it. And sometimes strength is hitting up your momma. I promise to show up with chocolates and ice cream when I can. When it’s impossible, I promise to listen. I will show her that breaking down doesn’t translate to weakness, it just means you human. I will teach my daughter strength in all the shades I know and the one’s I will come to know. 

If I should have a daughter, I will teach her that a long bath is sometimes all the therapy she needs. I will teach her how to take care of her well being. I will teach her spirituality, I will teach her how to take care of her emotions, how go unwind and how to take care of her body. I will teach her that the soul needs nourishment and so does the body. Most importantly, I will teach her how to protect her soul. I will teach her how her soul is the most important part of the being. I will show her ways of guarding her soul. Sometimes it’s closing it off and sometimes it’s opening it up. That her instincts are always right, she should trust it when it comes to taking care of herself. 

If I should have a daughter, I will teach her about sexuality. I will show her how to use her body as a weapon against hearts and mind to conquer the world. I will show her the ways of love. We will walk through Kamasutra step by step. We will learn about wealth, love and pleasure. I will show her how her body could be turned into a Temple, a place of worship, a holly place. I will show her how to be a goddess. How to be Aphrodite, how to be Athena and when to be Persephone, and when to be Artemis…. She should be a lover, a warrior and the goddess of darkness, and a mother. I will teach her ways of the wild woman. 

If I should have a daughter, I will raise her to be a feminist, she should be fighting for us, women. I will show her the ways of sisterhood. I will teach her the importance of having female friends and the whole point is to support each other. I will let her know that the harvest relationship she will ever have is with her best friend. That they will fight, make each other cry, ignore each other but it will be worth it, because no one got her back covered more than her soul sister.

I will teach her everything my mother taught me and everything have learnt in the course of my life. I will teach her all this things, but I won’t make decisions for her. I will let her become her own person, make her own mistakes, let her become whatever she wants. I promise to support her, through it all.

PS. I will be a shitty mom, probably. But that doesn’t mean I won’t be the best I could ever be