Taking Stock 005, for your eyes only

Let’s talk about women. My journey to being a ” bad feminist” because I only truly care about women. “

I don’t think I’m such a bad feminist like people in social insinuate. I like to think of myself as a pretty opiniated feminist who has women’s and girl’s interest at heart. My approach in feminism has evolved over the years. Let’s just say today’s article will focus on how I have evolved as a self proclaimed feminist,not just a 2017 thing. I will try to detail each turning point, how the women in my life gave me perspective and the hard lessons I had to learn and or unlearn.

Let’s start from the beginning as I remember it
I knew women needed every support they could get to survive at a pretty young age. I was 7 or 8 years old when I stood up to a male teacher for spanking girls on the ass every time he was punishing us. It just felt wrong. He had some weird look when he did it. Of course I was punished for defying a teacher, male to be precise, but at least he stopped. Though he used to punish me worse when he got a chance henceforth. Luckily, my parents moved and I was transferred.

When I was 12, there was a male teacher who sexually abused girls in my school, they were just stories we heard, we were twelve, he hadn’t come to me or anyone I knew so I figured may be they were just rumours. He was my math teacher and he had never disrespected anyone in class. When he came to one of my cliques, we knew we had to do something. We were scared because he was a senior teacher and no one had openly come out to speak of the abuse. So in our little clique we decided that every time he called her to his office we would go together. Well, we almost got suspended, we got banded “bad girls” but at least my friend finished school without incidence. We didn’t necessarily feel safe around him but at least we had the numbers.

I would like to lie to you and say I have had male mentors and role models. Sadly no, except family, may be. Like my big brother was “cool” back then. He still is, I mean, he is over six feet tall with a some laid back personality and he writes.  Then there was dearest daddy, because, we think the men in our lives are all that just to realize how heavily flawed they all are. Well, I did write that into my unending list of daddy’s issues. I’m still working on it. It disgusts me sometimes, mostly because after growing up you realize how flawed men are and you Wonder why you idolized them in the first place. But then agan, we were fed stories of warriors and Prince charming growing up. The women in most of these stories were in distress and or very submissive and devoted their lives to men.
My first mentor was a woman, Mrs. Otieno, she was also my English teacher. She did walk with the Grace of a goddess and had some type of poise that commanded attention yet she was supper successful( drove her own car, did her MBA bla bla bla) At some point, I wanted to grow up to be like her. She commanded respect without effort. Afterwards, there was a string of teachers and other women.

The most recent, as an adult, was my professor. She didn’t mentor me or anything but when she walks into a room and starts talking, she inspires you to want to be better. Daktari, is the kind of woman you want to be. Almost everyone in my class studied her subjects with a little more effort and did her assignments in time. You Just  don’t want to let her down. Then there is my mom, well,that woman is superhuman, her strength and zeal is out of this world. Then there was Jenny, she was both a mentor and role model, she did teach me most things about being a woman that I know now.

My first step on seeking freedom was the day I decided to filter all the BS the Church and patriarch in general fed us. All the things they kept insisting a girl should and should not do. So, I decided to do with my hair and nails whatever I felt like. It was librating. I decided to wear whatever I felt like. I was told things like; that dress is too short it ain’t ladylike. Or that Dress is too long it makes you look like a grandmother. You can’t dye your hair red because that’s what women at 40 do. I let them talk and at the end of the day, I just did me. I realized I could never do anything right, so I just did whatever I felt like. Deviant? Well, a girl had to grow and find her self. I let them adjust or leave me alone. Well, except their snide comments never really did stop. Good thing I never stopped exploring whatever I saw fit.
So, somehow, I started encouraging women around me to embrace lifestyles they felt fit. To free themselves from the chains of society. To spread their wings and fly. To stop putting all their hopes and dreams to men. To unlearn all we have been taught. Some caught on, some didn’t, but that’s okay. I ain’t stupid, I know that it ain’t just my path that’s true. If getting married, popping kids and massaging ego is your kind of thing, then by all means, embrace. As Long as you don’t feel oppressed or forced to live in a certain way, then just do you.
So, how did a girl from a small town went from being daddy’s girl to a woman actively seeking freedom? How did a girl from a small town decide to be her on person? How did a girl raised in fairytale stories of Prince charming and warriors saving the day and or women in distress decide to actively seek companionship from women instead? How did she become such her own person? Why did she get so deviant?

Pretty sample. It started with a lot of painful lessons. Unlearning and learning. Getting perspective from different people. Different cultures. I found most of my gems from books. Reading books of flawed characters, mostly of women who refused to conform. Poetry by Emily Dickson made me feel understood. I found support system from books of witches, stories my mother told me, stories from my Grandma before cancer. Stories of women who broke free from the patriarch gave me strength. It made me forge my own path. Stories of women running with the moon. As time passed by I met such women in real life. It was freeing. Women who became more, who strived to be more inspired me some more. It gave me perspective. It did open my eyes. I knew I had to be more.
I continued working on my unending daddy’s issues. I started using whatever opportunity I got to tell my story just in case it would inspire someone. I encouraged women I met to be more, strangers and acquittances alike. I became more. I wanted more from life.

One morning I woke up and decided I will never jeopardize or compromise what I wanted from life because of early childhood conditioning or because of “Prince charming”. I’m still forging my path. I’m still learning. I’m still unlearning. I’m still growing as a person and I don’t apologize.

Most importantly, I became pro choice. Let a woman do with her life, her body, her soul and all that is her life on her terms. I became a woman who lived on her own terms 



PS: I will write about the challenges I faced in my path to feminism may be Next time

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The Girl That Gave Me Pause 

Once upon a time in the land faraway I met a girl, the once in a lifetime kind of people. I can’t describe her even if I wanted, she was most things, diabolic comes to mind since complicated is cliché. This girl I speak of is nothing cliché, that much is clear. Today(a year ago to be precise), I thought about her, about something she once said. That was during my self destructive days. Well, usually I’m self destructing but those were worse times. I could say, darker times. She said something that gave me pause. 

In her own words;” BTW the only reason you are working hard to ruin your life is because the only person that you thought mattered decided to make you feel invisible. Well, ruining yourself won’t make you visible either. Get your head from the gutter and take charge of your life anyway. ”

 

It’s not the words that gave me pause, it’s the way she said it. Of course those words made sense and cut me deep in a wake up call kind of way, they make a lot of sense even right now. 
She is among those people who live in their heads, they don’t share their thoughts and rarely offer advice. So, when she said those words to me, it gave me pause. I knew she had thought about it for a while, and they weren’t meant for comfort or advice. More like facts.
Eventually, I reduced the rate of my self destructive ways, or so I told myself. There was no Happy ever after for me or anything dramatic of course. This is real life,lower your expectations. Today, when those words came rushing back to me, I realized my mistake. I went down that self destructive road because I had given someone(dearest daddy) so much power, trusted that they would always have my back and all. I was wrong, still am, the only person who got your back all the way is just you. The person who stares back at you when you look into the mirror.
If memory serves me right, I didn’t build walls around me from nothing. I think every brick was handed to me by somebody, either intentionally or not,it doesn’t really matter.  But the foundation, that was from those darker times or maybe before, we can’t really depend on memory. Well, I didn’t become not so a nice person from nowhere, after all. My friends call me selfish, I like to think of it as selfless love towards one self. I’m not narcistic, if I were, I think I would know. Maybe a little Self absorbent, but nothing chronic, it could be cured by everyone leaving me alone, mostly. 

Broken Hearted 

It’s been a month now since I last tasted you.  Our unbreakable relationship was breakeable, after all, I didn’t see that coming . I thought you were my forever.  The one that gets to stay till am old and senile and stay some more till my last breath. The one I get to taste every bitter cold morning and sweet sunny morning alike. You were supposed to be the kind of love I get to write cheesy blog post and post pictures on instagram with cheesy captions like “I love you to the moon and back” or “I love you to infinity and beyond , you are mine “. That kind of thing. My person. Well, this is the twenty first century, and we show affection through social media, our version of PDA. That is also how we officiate  relationships,by god, you are all over my timelines. The twenty first century is full of lazy pricks, seriously, we are lazy. Love translates to silly captions on selfies and status. I think I like our version of love, superficial , no depth, zero effort. Look at me writing you off  with a single blog post even though our relationship had depth and seemed solid enough while it lasted. I thought we were inseparable all these years,but then again, shit happens, all the time. 
I will give the internet a little history about us and how we became an item. We met long time ago but in the year  2012 we became an item, official even. If memory serves me right, 2012 was the year I had a crazy transition. I was fresh out of highschool, applying for college and all. Getting into college,  my then boyfriend cheating on me, hormones were all over the place,basically,being me was unbearable .  The world was supposedly coming to an end, we all can agree that  2012 had a few weird shit going on, some call it the year of jubilee, and not in the Kenyan version of poltics but more in the line of spiritual BS.  In all that madness, our long term relationship began. I mean,i knew you were awesome she’s you also, got me through that terrible year and many more that came.  

Since the day we became lovers,  my life has never been the same. You did kickstar my day with a good jolt, when my sleepy lips met yours, I knew in a few minutes I will obviously be ready to face the world. I was strong as long as I had you.  On the nights I needed to stay up and study, you were there,you kept me company.  When my depression kicked in, every taste of you on my lips reminded me to be strong.  You cheered me on.  Held my hand . On the days I was too tired to do shit, I did reach out for you, you always showed up, we would  sleep in and watch bad TV or read a book or basically do nothing. You also kept me well fed, or as fed as your limited capacity could manage. If I needed to deal with humanity, you gave me all the patience I needed. If I wanted to see my friends, you were always ready to give a  helping hand.  Then when our relationship was going strong, I discovered that you did  mix  better with whiskey and friends. 
Basically, you were my lover, my friend, my sponsor, my best friend,  my social adviser, my social manager, my therapist and the reason I had a social life. You made my life awesome.  You made me a people’s person.  You made me feel human, most days. Of all my past lovers, I bet you  be missed the most. 

Our relationship was bitter sweet, then we evolved  to bitter awesome. I never liked you with milk, even when you obviously tasted better, straight up black and strong . Our love was addictive, at least for me,you were fucking addictive. The type of love poets write sonnets about- perfectly imperfect covers it. I did cheat on you you severally with unworthy beings like;milk,  water, chocolate, tea, juice…….. I also did cheat on you with beings, I wouldn’t say they were in your league but on their own level they wereworthy, this included; whiskey(sloppy lover ),wine(such a good lover ), vodka (good for a night ) tequila (good for the nights you don’t want to remember ), and beer( they say that one is an acquired taste, I agree with  them,sadly) . my dear coffee,  you were always there, no matter my other indulgence,you were my person, my one true lover. You were there for me,always. Cleaning up after the likes of alcohol most times.  We weren’t perfect together I know.  Like you ruined my skin, dehydrated my body,  addictive and all.  None of us was perfect for the other, but love, love wins, always.

Then last month something broke.  I had food poisoning and just like that we were over. It must have been the fact that I had you that morning like every other morning and my mind can’t stop associating you with that horrible experience or it could be the fact that you didn’t mix well with my prescription drugs. Either way, I can’t seem to be able to have you.  I now ppget a gag reflex every time I try so I stopped.  I guess this is goodbye. Till we meet again in future, maybe it will be in Paris, and the city of love and lights will get us back together. 

Lyrics From Country Music That Made Us Feel Understood About Life and Love 

  • The vows go unbroken by Kenny Rogers-

    From the moment I met you,

    You made my life complete.

    This wave of pure devotion,

    Has swept me off my feet.

    And tonight when we kissed,

    You still took my breath away.

    It goes without saying,

    But I’ll say it anyway…

    The vows go un-broken – and you still know I do.

    Love, keep and honor – always true to you.

    Though I have been tempted,

    Oh I have never strayed.

    I’d die before I’d damage,

    This union we have made.”

    •          Second violin by Bagatalle-

     “I would have given you

    Anything that you wanted

    I would have taken you

    Anywhere you wanted to go

    I would have answered you

    Any question that you asked me

    I would have told you

    Anything you wanted to know

    We used to live

    Like there was gonna be no tomorrow

    As if a new day

    Wasn’t gonna begin

    But the light in your eyes

    Has gone and said good bye

    And I don’t wanna be

    Your second violin

    The little things you do

    I still keep them in my memory

    And little things you said

    I still keep them in my mind

    The times we had were good

    And we never had a problem

    Times that we’re leaving

    So very very far behind”

    •          The Truth- Jason Aldean 

    Tell ’em all I’m on vacation

    Say I went to visit friends

    That you ain’t heard or seen from me in quite a while

    When they ask you where I’ve been

    Tell ’em I’m out on the West Coast

    Where it don’t ever rain

    And that I’m probably doing fine

    Just don’t tell ’em I’ve gone crazy

    That I’m still strung out over you

    Tell ’em anythin’ you want to

    Just don’t tell ’em all the truth

    Yeah, don’t tell ’em all the truth

    Tell ’em all I’m out in Vegas

    Blowin’ every dollar I ever made

    Tell ’em that I must be into somethin’ bad for me

    ‘Cause I sure lost a lot of weight

    Tell ’em I’m out on the road

    With some old rock and roll band

    Living like a gypsy can

    The truth is that I’m askin’ you to lie

    And we both know that it ain’t right

    But if you ever loved me

    Please have some mercy on me”

    • Cologne by Dolly Parton –

    “You ask me not to wear cologne

    She’ll know you’ve been with me alone

    And you can’t take our secret home

    So you ask me not to wear cologne

    You can wipe the make up off

    The lipstick or a little gloss

    But fragrance lingers on and on

    So you ask me not to wear cologne

    You leave my bed and go to hers

    Leaving me alone and hurt

    I love you whether right or wrong

    And you ask me not to wear cologne

    I’m not out to hurt someone

    Not you, not her, not any one

    But I got heartaches of my own

    Why, I can’t even wear cologne

    Oh but I never meant for this to be

    It wasn’t in my heart to cheat

    Love has a nature all it’s own

    So I willingly gave up cologne

    And every time you come to me

    I realize I’m in too deep

    I know you love us both and I keep holding on

    You ask me not to wear cologne

    You say, “Don’t wear cologne”

    Oh now what am I ever gonna do

    Cause I am so in love with you

    I know you love us both

    But where do I belong

    You ask me not to wear cologne”


    • Evening star by Kenny Rogers-

    “If you never rode West of the Arizona border

    You can turn the other way boy but you never get far

    You be living a lie if you wanna see the wonders of the age

    You must follow the evening star.

    Evening star

    Shine a little Heaven

    On a stranger with no dream

    Where you are.

    You can see the loneliness I mean and if I gotta fight

    I can never play somebody else’s game

    I can follow the evening star

    Starlight, you never need somebody else’s name

    If you follow the evening star.

    Have you ever known a sunset when the sky’s on fire

    How you end another day boy you’ve been searching too far

    Like the desert I rode on any memory is lost in the restless wind

    I just lie beneath the evening star.”


    •  Mamma Mia by Abba-

    “I’ve been cheated by you since I don’t know when

    So I made up my mind, it must come to an end

    Look at me now, will I ever learn?

    I don’t know how but I suddenly lose control

    There’s a fire within my soul

    Just one look and I can hear a bell ring

    One more look and I forget everything, w-o-o-o-oh

    Mamma mia, here I go again

    My my, how can I resist you?

    Mamma mia, does it show again?

    My my, just how much I’ve missed you

    Yes, I’ve been brokenhearted

    Blue since the day we parted

    Why, why did I ever let you go?

    Mamma mia, now I really know,

    My my, I could never let you go.”


    • Some Broken Hearts Never Mend by Don Williams –

    “Coffee black, cigarettes,

    start this day, like all the rest,

    First thing every morning that I do,

    Is start missing you

    Some broken hearts never mend,

    Some memories never end,

    Some tears will never dry,

    My love for you will never die

    Rendezvous in the night,

    A willing woman to hold me tight,

    But in the middle of love’s embrace,

    I see your face”


    • This world is not our own by Jim Reeves –

    “This world is not my home

    I’m just a-passing through

    My treasures are laid up

    Somewhere beyond the blue.

    The angels beckon me

    From heaven’s open door

    And I can’t feel at home

    In this world anymore.

    Oh Lord, you know

    I have no friend like you

    If heaven’s not my home

    Then Lord what will I do.”


    • Wind Beneath My Wings by Bette Midler –

    “It must have been cold there in my shadow,

    to never have sunlight on your face.

    You were content to let me shine, that’s your way.

    You always walked a step behind.

    So I was the one with all the glory,

    while you were the one with all the strength.

    A beautiful face without a name for so long.

    A beautiful smile to hide the pain.

    Did you ever know that you’re my hero,

    and everything I would like to be?

    I can fly higher than an eagle,

    ’cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

    It might have appeared to go unnoticed,

    but I’ve got it all here in my heart.

    I want you to know I know the truth, of course I know it.

    I would be nothing without you.”


    • when you say nothing at all by Ronan Keating 

    It’s amazing how you

    Can speak right to my heart.

    Without saying a word

    You can light up the dark.

    Try as I may, I could never explain

    What I hear when you don’t say a thing.

    The smile on your face

    Lets me know that you need me.

    There’s a truth in your eyes

    Saying you’ll never leave me.

    The touch of your hand says you’ll catch me wherever I fall.

    You say it best when you say nothing at all.

    All day long I can hear

    People talking out loud 

    But when you hold me near

    You drown out the crowd

    Try as they may, they can never define

    What’s been said between your heart and mine.

    Incomplete 

    “there is a hell, believe me, have seen it. There is a heaven, let’s keep it a secret.”


    She is not complete. She never pretended otherwise.

    She is made of half written stories, undone poems, half written articles, unread books, several what if’s, unsaid goodbye’s, unfinished projects and a bunch of undone’s, unsaid and incomplete.
    She is made of incomplete, don’t for minute think she could be complete when all she has ever known is incompletedness 
    She is incomplete and she wears it like a badge of not so much honour.

    What I Think Monogamy Is About 

    Disclaimer 1: This is my opinion and not the absolute truth but the truth as I see it. It’s what most people call opinion.
    Disclaimer 2: My truth was realized through personal experiences, stories i collected from friends and strangers. 

    The entire concept of Monogamous relationships is based on; one man one woman or one woman one woman or one man one man ratio. It’s believed that parties involved have romantic relations with their partners and only their partners. It’s frowned upon if anyone involved gets involved romantically with someone else. That’s what they call cheating. People in Monogamous relationships are expected to go through life with one person for life. Crazy,right? People are crazy. 

    Riri 

    Here is unedited opinion of what monogamy is about from a girl fro.a very small town and how she thinks it works:

    1.  If you don’t get caught then You didn’t do it. If you asked you can deny deny deny. You are allowed to do what may upset your partner as long as you don’t get caught.
    2. Cheating doesn’t necessarily involved an affair. Sometimes it’s watching”our show”  without your partner or going for an adventure you had planned together without them. Sometimes harmless flirting can be viewed as cheating. Having a minor attraction towards a stranger might be viewed as betrayal.Deleting personal emails and messages might cause suspicion. Just to mention a few forms of cheating. Sometimes it’s actually having an affair. Basically, it involves a lot of half truths. killing your truth so you don’t upset your partner and avoid conflict as much as possible.
    3. It’s about compromise. Like preparing both coffee and tea because your partner prefers tea with two spoons of sugar for breakfast and you can’t survive without your morning coffee. It’s about waking up for morning Glory when you would rather really sleep. Showing up with sweatpants and heels on your date night because you promised you will show up though you don’t feel like dressing up and it’s about them letting you because they understand that sometimes you feel not so human. It’s About”running for Mau marathon” because they scored free tickets and you can’t let them down because of the effort they input to get those tickets even though you would rather do TV  shows Marathon. 
    4. It is about pretending you like your anniversary gift. Even though you wish you could switch gifts and everyone to keep what they got the other.
    5. Staying on phone to have a conversation when one of you skips town and talk about stuff. Sometimes you have to set an alarm when you are in different time zones for that ten minutes phonecall. 
    6. Showering together not because it’s romantic or You have turned into some environment enthusiast where you both are saving water or something as cool but because no one likes showering in a used bathroom.
    7. It’s about sharing friends..ghaaa… That leaves a bad taste in my mouth though it happens. You get to hangout together so much that you start sharing friends. Which comes with a lot of;she said,he said scenarios mord often than you care to admit. you somehow find a way to work around that. When you break one of you will keep the friends,messy! I know.
    8. Sometimes your partner becomes the center of your world. They become your cheerleader. They play on your team. They play for keeps. They pick you up. They take care of you when you sick. Basically, they become your person and you even forget how your life used to be without them. 
    9. It’s about building a life together and planning a future together. Compromising and sacrificing even tailoring your dreams and plans to suit each other 
    10. It is about finding a way of respecting personal space. Being careful not to neglect their needs and not crowding them too much to suffocate them. It’s tough,i know. But a healthy relationship needs balance of energies .
    11. It’s about open communication. Communicating is key. Talking about stuff might help. I used to do bikini wax once I was home for holidays and I didn’t shave. When i got back I was panicking because i hadn’t taken care of my flower for a while. When we were at it he said he could feel my pubes. I was scared and insecure the entire time. The next day I shaved. Apparently he liked my pubes but I was so used to shaving. I would have saved my soul trouble of shaving with a simple communication. Dammit! 

    PS. My journey on understanding human relationships continue. You can email, comment or share. Tell me your thoughts. I like hearing from you.

    To The Girl Who Taught Me How To Love 


    I met her in high school. She came to my school when we were in form three. Noel, the girl who wore glasses, smiled all the time,hated math, loved music, wrote poems and the girl could sing.Not entirely in that order. I didn’t even know we would be friends because I already had friends.I had a clique of girls to study with,girls I did hangout with and people for gossip. I even had a book club or cult where we met to talk about books, characters and or authors. My social life was active then you came along and taught me otherwise.You taught me love. I don’t remember how we became friends. One minute you were That newcomer with glasses that smiled too much And hated math and the next we were friends. I introduced you to the ‘family’ and you kept your distance anyway. You didn’t really blend in and I respected that. So we did hangout rarely and before we knew it we became inseparable.

    To be honest, I have never been close with another human like I was close to you. I told you everything. I looked forward to hanging out together. when we fought I never fought to win or anything but I fought for our friendship. Two different women and one great friendship. I can honestly say we were great friends. I was never afraid as long as I had you by my side.

    Remember that time we were accused that we were lesbians. In retrospect, I finally understand why they thought that. We were inseparable. We ate,slept , showered, washed clothes and lived off each other pockets. We hated the same people. Shared private smiles in public. Had inside jokes. Had pet names for each other. We exchanged short notes during prep times. We were literally attached to the hip. I was famous, you were the new girl. How could they not get a good scandal from that? Maybe we should have admitted that we were just to see how far they would have gone with it. I mean, they already ruined our reputation. But we didn’t and that’s in the past. I wasn’t even ashamed apparently. I was pissed that they were raining on our parade. Good thing the rumour didn’t shake our friendship, we got closer more. Except we weren’t allowed to sleep together,it did affect the whole school.

    Before you I didn’t know how to give or receive love. I still have issues with receiving love but am getting better at it. You showed me how love is patient. How it’s boring and long. That it’s not flashy and smiles. That it involves boring days,sad moments, picking up someone when they are down, cleaning up after them even when they don’t see the mess. It’s being patient with their flaws and strengthening their strengths. It’s growth. It’s leaving a better person behind. It’s sharing material, spiritual and emotional support. It’s showing up when you expected and when you needed. It’s being there for them.

    I remember how you would get me gifts. It was always a surprise . You would have a shy smile on your face with words like,”It’s not much but I got you this and I think you will like it” I was always touched. TTY Thoughtful gifts I must point out from; beautiful diary books, to Notebooks, to well written poems and my favorite is the red bra you got me. It doesn’t fit me anymore but I still have it like a momento. Our friendship might not be active like it used to be but that bra represent something amazing that once happened to me a long time ago. Can you imagine it has been over ten years since we last met?

    You made me confident in my writing. I did prose, always. You were the poet, you even did your diary entries in poetry. I wonder, are you still a compulsive writer? You wrote on literally everything. Your hands always had ink. You even wrote on my hands because you just couldn’t help it. Everything about you did fascinate me. 
    You had a beautiful voice and you broke hearts with it. Every time you took the stage to do a poem or a song you did always melt hearts, mine included. Hahaha…i can’t believe you weren’t going to stay in my life forever. I thought I would always stretch my hand to reach you. If that wasn’t love in it’s purest I don’t know what is…….

    I don’t know what changed and why our friendship died a natural death. Maybe because we finally grew up and life got busy. I don’t know. Maybe because we walked our separate ways. or because we all grew fat. I didn’t know a friendship no matter how solid it couldn’t stand distance or the test of time.
    Despite everything else. You taught me how to love. You showed me that I didn’t need to be perfect or have my shit together. You showed me even hormonal teenagers were still loveable. That secrets ruin things. Fighting was allowed. That Love could move mountains. 
    I miss you.