In Getting Married and Having Kids

My friends and strangers online around my age are getting married or engaged or having babies and am here wondering if it’s okay that I don’t want those things, not just yet. My newsfeed is full of engagement parties photos, baby showers and wedding gowns photos from different people. People posting photos of their little perfect families or their cute babies or gross family day out because it’s gross to have a family day out with a little baby since the whole time you will be trying to keep them alive instead of having a good time. Some of you are posting pics in the gym working that baby bum off,apparently, it’s a thing. But what do I know?

It’s a good thing, you guys are moving on, making your lives and all. I am honestly happy for you. Growing up, marriage and engagements and babies and the in betweens is something I have always know is a thing for adults and at almost 23 I don’t feel so adultie. I feel like I have a long way to go to be a proper adult. There is a lot of things I need to do and starting a family ain’t on my top 100 list, conventional marriage is not even on the list.

I am trying to successfully run my shoe company(Like our page on facebook VaaKenya) that needs A LOT OF WORK. If you into unique, customized shoes and that kind of thing then VaaKenya is your shoe company of choice. I also have to do some unpaid internship I have been postponing, maybe I should suck it up and go for it, get my license and be done with it.

Then there is the most important thing of staying alive and reminding myself to incorporate vegetables and other proteins in my diet because having bread/chapati and tea for dinner everyday doesn’t count as real food and that throwing in mutura in my meager meal of black tea and bread DOES NOT count as a balanced diet, though it does make me sleep better knowing that yesterday I ate meat (read mutura). I also need a trip across Africa I have been planning to do if and when Evey gets back in the country if she doesn’t I will figure something out.

I mean, there is so much to do. Well, there is much that needs my attention, and all I want to do is sleep. I don’t think I am an adult, adultie enough to start a family. I am barely taking care of myself, I don’t think it’s wise to include some innocent persons in the picture….don’t you think?

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Seduce Me 

Seduce me. 

I don’t mind the cliche romance we see on TV, my god, am a sucker for slow walks under the moon and chasing setting sunsets. The reason they are cliches is coz they work!  

I am sucker when it comes to silly games by the beach and getting high by the beach, scratch that last part, I like getting high anywhere.

I am a sucker for efforts! 

A well planned dinner, breakfast in bed, unexpected kisses….. 

That kind of thing.  
But when I say seduce me this is what I have in mind. I am a hopeless romantic, of course. 
Kiss me like you mean it. 
Hug me like you want to 
Look at me like am the only girl in the world, like I put stars in the sky and the moon is my best friend. 
Darling, I am not a hard girl to please. 
Text me random smart shit to make my day, shit like why you think the sun goes to sleep so that the moon can unleash her brightness or what you think vegan zombies eat or what you think of event horizon and space theory…. I promise I won’t indulge you but that will fucking make my day  
Talk dirty to me, try seducing me with science, use physics, the appalling theories,a seductive language forged from physics will definitely get you into my pants, I know I won’t  understand half the things you be saying but I will be so impressed you wouldn’t have to try. 
Undress me with your beautiful mind and baby, I am sold. 
Seduce me.

Broken Hearted 

It’s been a month now since I last tasted you.  Our unbreakable relationship was breakeable, after all, I didn’t see that coming . I thought you were my forever.  The one that gets to stay till am old and senile and stay some more till my last breath. The one I get to taste every bitter cold morning and sweet sunny morning alike. You were supposed to be the kind of love I get to write cheesy blog post and post pictures on instagram with cheesy captions like “I love you to the moon and back” or “I love you to infinity and beyond , you are mine “. That kind of thing. My person. Well, this is the twenty first century, and we show affection through social media, our version of PDA. That is also how we officiate  relationships,by god, you are all over my timelines. The twenty first century is full of lazy pricks, seriously, we are lazy. Love translates to silly captions on selfies and status. I think I like our version of love, superficial , no depth, zero effort. Look at me writing you off  with a single blog post even though our relationship had depth and seemed solid enough while it lasted. I thought we were inseparable all these years,but then again, shit happens, all the time. 
I will give the internet a little history about us and how we became an item. We met long time ago but in the year  2012 we became an item, official even. If memory serves me right, 2012 was the year I had a crazy transition. I was fresh out of highschool, applying for college and all. Getting into college,  my then boyfriend cheating on me, hormones were all over the place,basically,being me was unbearable .  The world was supposedly coming to an end, we all can agree that  2012 had a few weird shit going on, some call it the year of jubilee, and not in the Kenyan version of poltics but more in the line of spiritual BS.  In all that madness, our long term relationship began. I mean,i knew you were awesome she’s you also, got me through that terrible year and many more that came.  

Since the day we became lovers,  my life has never been the same. You did kickstar my day with a good jolt, when my sleepy lips met yours, I knew in a few minutes I will obviously be ready to face the world. I was strong as long as I had you.  On the nights I needed to stay up and study, you were there,you kept me company.  When my depression kicked in, every taste of you on my lips reminded me to be strong.  You cheered me on.  Held my hand . On the days I was too tired to do shit, I did reach out for you, you always showed up, we would  sleep in and watch bad TV or read a book or basically do nothing. You also kept me well fed, or as fed as your limited capacity could manage. If I needed to deal with humanity, you gave me all the patience I needed. If I wanted to see my friends, you were always ready to give a  helping hand.  Then when our relationship was going strong, I discovered that you did  mix  better with whiskey and friends. 
Basically, you were my lover, my friend, my sponsor, my best friend,  my social adviser, my social manager, my therapist and the reason I had a social life. You made my life awesome.  You made me a people’s person.  You made me feel human, most days. Of all my past lovers, I bet you  be missed the most. 

Our relationship was bitter sweet, then we evolved  to bitter awesome. I never liked you with milk, even when you obviously tasted better, straight up black and strong . Our love was addictive, at least for me,you were fucking addictive. The type of love poets write sonnets about- perfectly imperfect covers it. I did cheat on you you severally with unworthy beings like;milk,  water, chocolate, tea, juice…….. I also did cheat on you with beings, I wouldn’t say they were in your league but on their own level they wereworthy, this included; whiskey(sloppy lover ),wine(such a good lover ), vodka (good for a night ) tequila (good for the nights you don’t want to remember ), and beer( they say that one is an acquired taste, I agree with  them,sadly) . my dear coffee,  you were always there, no matter my other indulgence,you were my person, my one true lover. You were there for me,always. Cleaning up after the likes of alcohol most times.  We weren’t perfect together I know.  Like you ruined my skin, dehydrated my body,  addictive and all.  None of us was perfect for the other, but love, love wins, always.

Then last month something broke.  I had food poisoning and just like that we were over. It must have been the fact that I had you that morning like every other morning and my mind can’t stop associating you with that horrible experience or it could be the fact that you didn’t mix well with my prescription drugs. Either way, I can’t seem to be able to have you.  I now ppget a gag reflex every time I try so I stopped.  I guess this is goodbye. Till we meet again in future, maybe it will be in Paris, and the city of love and lights will get us back together. 

On Clients and In Betweens Of Being Your Own Boss 

So, the journey of being your own boss comes with challenges, who would have thought? I am still new in the game,still learning the ropes of the business.I am in the shoe industry, just in case you didn’t know. Ankara and custom made shoes to be precise.
I heard somewhere that the principles of business is the same everywhere and all you have to do is figure them out, apply them and thereafter, everything else works with the same principle. Well, where I come from we believe in the power of books or is it information? So, before I started my business, I read books from several fields, books written by economist, psychologist, marketers and heavens knows what other related fields. I thought those books will on the least, help me with basic principles of the business and all. Imagine my surprise when it hit me that I had to learn everything from FUCKING scratch. So far so good, still learning, still trying. Haven’t put a bullet through my brains yet, you know. Progress.
Today am in the mood of talking about customers or clients. If you are a start up, the worst clients are your friends or so I found out. I should have known from the start, or I should have taken the advice from that book I don’t remember that somehow stated that friends will be your first clients,and they will grandly ruin you. I mean,some of my friends have been awesome and paid up and all. Most of them did let me down. Some paying half the money,others none and some placing orders and then somehow changing their mind. I mean,what the fuck, why give specifics of a shoe then somehow change your mind? You do realize, it will take a century to have another you with such a poor taste in shoe,right? The reason we custom make shoes is so that we include our clients in the process of creation. I have over fifteen pairs of shoes lying somewhere in my house that I have no fucking idea what to do with them. I can’t even wear them, maybe I will go to shagz(my village) and I might get lucky to find a few feets willing to wear them, donate them for Christmas or something.
They say the client is always right. I know. Some clients I found online bought our products and gave us both positive and constructive critics that I did appreciate. Perfection is our aim and with such criticism we will definitely achieve perfection. If a client doesn’t like a product, that is totally alright. I don’t see how clients are right when they give you specifics of what they want then fail to pick up their goddamn orders.
Then the ones who outright refuse to pay. That was a mistake on my side. I am learning. Soon, I will get better at the game, like everyone else. Apparently, no one escapes bad debts, it’s part of the game.
On the days I feel like giving up, someone restores my faith in humanity in one way or another.
Until next time friends. I will keep updating you on my journey of being my own boss. Tough, I know. We carry on.
Namaste.

Be Your Own Boss

Every millennial wants to be their own boss. I like the sound of that, scratch that, i FUCKING LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT. More bosses, more job opportunities, my god, we all know Africa needs jobs more than we need relief food.More bosses with their hypothetical more jobs comes with better services, better products, driven by forces of demand and supply(assuming our new bosses fail to think outside the box and over flood our supply industry) which creates competition and,maybe,perharps, the best products and services wins or it could get better,we get to pay less for more or is it get more for less?But then again, things might not turn out like I imagined. Like some people still pay more for less.Humans are unpredictable like that.
I didn’t go to businesses school so I have no idea how forces of demand and supply might reflect on the economy but someone I know once explained that shit to me in layman’s language,”more bosses,more jobs.” That’s all we care about,don’t you think?

So I took matters into my own hands and started my own business, again, she says. I sell handcrafted shoes,designed by some good people,you should see them sometime. Maybe I should write a blog post on my shoe business someday. Since I joined the shoe industry, things have been crazy and awesome. Like my big brother placed an order a week ago that I haven’t delivered yet, because of one reason or another. I have made some clients happy. Some are not so happy. I have encountered challenges, unforseen, for that matter,that I soldiered on. Some days I want to walk away, get a job and let someone else worry about my bills but my momma didn’t raise a quitter. “Things have a way of working out,” I remind myself everyday. Then there are days I just sleep in and I ignore my clients and the shoes stay in the workshop BC I need to have a day or two to myself because I don’t want to be a zombie, burn outs are real my friend. But that’s my story of trying to be my own boss. Its my journey and I intend to enjoy the ride,learn to dance in the rain,and take a break when I can’t survive another day without taking a break. It is part of the process. Learning the ropes of the industry, the art of money, the rules of gold, the art of customer service and taking care of myself enough to survive the madness.
 
So,imagine if all millennials, especially recent graduates who are jobless, they all decide to start their own small hassle instead of blaming the government of unemployment or generation X for making things worse for US. Well,it is true generation X fucked us up;they did tank the economy with money, pass policy that doesn’t favour us and all……. I know, I know. But we are millenials, we can fix their mistake. Turn lemons into lemonade or is it see the opportunity in the tragedy and spin these around to our favor. We did invent things that didn’t seem possible ten years ago. We started selfies, social media etc. We can take the business of being our own bosses serious and make the world a better place. We can take the hashtag #BYOB  from just another trending hashtag on social media to reality. Stop looking for a job, start your own business and if you really want to be employed, you can as well start by hiring yourself. How about that? WE CAN DO THIS, MILLENNIA LS, YES WE CAN. We can actualize the dream of being our own bosses.

Until next time friends!!

An Apology Letter To The Internet


I’m sorry for abandoning you for a while now. I have had a few hard months myself that blogging and writing for the internet was the last thing in my mind. I switched towns and with that, it came with it’s own type and level of madness. I have been trying to adjust,the city is a mad place, believe me.It needs a lot of getting used to. I started my own business and that too came with another level of madness. I have only tried to survive long enough to see another day.

It’s hard to find inspiration to create anything when you are tired all the time from all the chaos that is your existence. But now I think the madness is manageable or at least I delude myself. A perfect illusion is all we have,you know. In my perfect deluded state, I can now say that am ready to start creating more or at least try. Trying is all we have you know. From now on, you’ll be seeing more of my posts or so I hope.

From the experience I have had, am back with more stories to tell,stay tuned. You should read my blog often. I am back to telling the twenty something’s stories and my personal survival tricks. Tricks forged through experience, of course.
Sorry internet, for abandoning you. Real life has a way of getting in the way,sometimes, you know.
Namaste!

Coffin Maker

 

Gather your tools, coffin maker

Buy a ton of nails and a bale of cotton

Grease the chain saw for we shall slaughter trees

Make comfy, scented and studded coffins if possible

Peak is coming, the demand of coffins shall surpass the supply

The smell of the dead will dance in the air

The flies will camp on the dead bodies

Worms will fight for the fresh corpse

Vultures will feed on the rotten meat

Caterpillars will hatch on the dead’s blocked nostrils

The undertaker will reign and resign

He will not stand the seduction from the pretty dead ladies

He will not stand the bullying from the muscular dead men

He will not stand the innocence of the little dead kids

He will not stand the cries of the half dead people he will have to kill

The coffin maker, we are waiting for their commands

We are worshippers of men, remember?

They will spit venom and we shall swallow it smoothly

They will buy us machetes to kill our neighbors

They shall pay us to light our “Vibandas” in their demonstrations

The coffin maker, make more coffins we are approaching peak

We shall bleach their faces with battery acids

We shall evict different tribes from our village

We shall kill everyone who didn’t support our politician

We shall carry their heads in town as we sing and chant victory slogans

Coffin maker, after you have sold the coffins

The accelerators of the violence will disappear

They shall fly to abroad, and our roads to success will be cursed

They shall pay casinos and whores with what they took from us

I bet before the coffin maker makes the first coffin we will have learnt

That humanity was there before politics

That political differences should never call for clashes

We may have different tribes but same blood type

And peace will help us fix our broken pieces

©2017, #ItutorPoetry