I met her in high school. She came to my school when we were in form three. Noel, the girl who wore glasses, smiled all the time,hated math, loved music, wrote poems and the girl could sing.Not entirely in that order. I didn’t even know we would be friends because I already had friends.I had a clique of girls to study with,girls I did hangout with and people for gossip. I even had a book club or cult where we met to talk about books, characters and or authors. My social life was active then you came along and taught me otherwise.You taught me love. I don’t remember how we became friends. One minute you were That newcomer with glasses that smiled too much And hated math and the next we were friends. I introduced you to the ‘family’ and you kept your distance anyway. You didn’t really blend in and I respected that. So we did hangout rarely and before we knew it we became inseparable.
To be honest, I have never been close with another human like I was close to you. I told you everything. I looked forward to hanging out together. when we fought I never fought to win or anything but I fought for our friendship. Two different women and one great friendship. I can honestly say we were great friends. I was never afraid as long as I had you by my side.
Remember that time we were accused that we were lesbians. In retrospect, I finally understand why they thought that. We were inseparable. We ate,slept , showered, washed clothes and lived off each other pockets. We hated the same people. Shared private smiles in public. Had inside jokes. Had pet names for each other. We exchanged short notes during prep times. We were literally attached to the hip. I was famous, you were the new girl. How could they not get a good scandal from that? Maybe we should have admitted that we were just to see how far they would have gone with it. I mean, they already ruined our reputation. But we didn’t and that’s in the past. I wasn’t even ashamed apparently. I was pissed that they were raining on our parade. Good thing the rumour didn’t shake our friendship, we got closer more. Except we weren’t allowed to sleep together,it did affect the whole school.
Before you I didn’t know how to give or receive love. I still have issues with receiving love but am getting better at it. You showed me how love is patient. How it’s boring and long. That it’s not flashy and smiles. That it involves boring days,sad moments, picking up someone when they are down, cleaning up after them even when they don’t see the mess. It’s being patient with their flaws and strengthening their strengths. It’s growth. It’s leaving a better person behind. It’s sharing material, spiritual and emotional support. It’s showing up when you expected and when you needed. It’s being there for them.
I remember how you would get me gifts. It was always a surprise . You would have a shy smile on your face with words like,”It’s not much but I got you this and I think you will like it” I was always touched. TTY Thoughtful gifts I must point out from; beautiful diary books, to Notebooks, to well written poems and my favorite is the red bra you got me. It doesn’t fit me anymore but I still have it like a momento. Our friendship might not be active like it used to be but that bra represent something amazing that once happened to me a long time ago. Can you imagine it has been over ten years since we last met?
You made me confident in my writing. I did prose, always. You were the poet, you even did your diary entries in poetry. I wonder, are you still a compulsive writer? You wrote on literally everything. Your hands always had ink. You even wrote on my hands because you just couldn’t help it. Everything about you did fascinate me.
You had a beautiful voice and you broke hearts with it. Every time you took the stage to do a poem or a song you did always melt hearts, mine included. Hahaha…i can’t believe you weren’t going to stay in my life forever. I thought I would always stretch my hand to reach you. If that wasn’t love in it’s purest I don’t know what is…….
I don’t know what changed and why our friendship died a natural death. Maybe because we finally grew up and life got busy. I don’t know. Maybe because we walked our separate ways. or because we all grew fat. I didn’t know a friendship no matter how solid it couldn’t stand distance or the test of time.
Despite everything else. You taught me how to love. You showed me that I didn’t need to be perfect or have my shit together. You showed me even hormonal teenagers were still loveable. That secrets ruin things. Fighting was allowed. That Love could move mountains.
I miss you.