LEAVE ME BE A WOMAN

In a society facilitated by men,I just want to be a woman. Don’t corrupt my feminine space with masculine energy. I am a woman and that is enough. I deserve to be worshiped,to be pursued. To be taken care of. To be protected. To be loved. I don’t want to be the cliche Miss independent. I need to be owned. To belong. I just want to be a woman. To nurture.To make a home. To Queen. To seduce. To be a goddess. I am confident enough to know that as much as the patriarch is facilitated by men their universe revolves around the feminine.

An awaken woman is not one who wants to be like a man. An awaken woman is one who embraces femininity. She knows it is her role to be a woman. To heal. To nurture. To take care of humanity. To be a helper. To provide space for the masculine to work. To motivate and be the force that pushes forward the masculine. To be sensual. To give the masculine reason to live on. To make him confident enough to take on the world with one hand as long as she is holding the other. To make him think of how he is going to please when he is not with her because that is the feminine space she created. To build an empire together because it is so much better than a kingdom or a queendom. To be his empress, his queen, his goddess. To be a woman, nothing but female.

I want to be a woman, sway my hips under the full moon and let him howl and pursue me. Let him be the wolf while am the she-wolf. Let him be the he Alpha and I the she alpha. Let him be the predator and I the prey. Let him dominate while I submit. There is power in surrender and in the right arms it is very safe to surrender. It is not a weakness to be dominated but strength  To give someone the ultimate power over you is liberating. My view of femininity is skewed to surrender and I don’t apologize.

In the game of chess the Queen main role is to protect the King while The king is to protect the empire. Command his subjects to war. Why is it so bad when all I want to do be a Queen. while he runs the our empire I run his life. That is how it works. Whilethe whole world bows for him and he bows for me. A king should only bow to his king while his subjects bows before him.

Being a woman is about lying on his right hand while his left hand is between my breasts just the way I like it. It is forehead kisses and protective back hugs when you not looking. It is about preparing his favorite meal four times a week and rubbing his back. It is about spoiling your man and he spoiling you. It is about manicured nails while his stay rough. It is about learning to work with knives while he masters the sword. It is about trusting your man enough to lead you home. It is about letting him build a house and you making it a home.It is about burning incest while he burns gas.

Masculine energy is about the big picture while feminine is about the fine details. I imagine what you can create when the two come together and build something? Let him pay rent and she groceries. Let him buy the car and she get the rosary or whatever to make the car homey. Let him till the lands and she work on the gardens. Let him handle the goals of the business and she the objectives. Let him handle bigwig client meetings and her the board and staff. Let him take the business international while she perfects the ground work. It is beautiful when we let everyone play their role, capitalize on our strengths instead of learning to improve our weaknesses when we can have someone do it.

I don’t want to be independent I just want to be a woman. I know my strengths and weaknesses are necessary for an empire. I don’t think encroaching on the masculine and trying to be a man is moving forward but backward thinking.

If you are a woman out there trying to be a man please stop. I can’t help you though. I hope you realize thinking like a woman is the only thinking you should be doing. I hope you someday realize these and start embracing your femininity instead of fighting it. There is power in being a woman that is why the whole damn world rebvolves around us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THINGS ABOUT BEING A WOMAN I WANT MY LITTLE SISTER TO KNOW

She will be turning 15 in June. I compiled a list of things I want her to know about being a woman, growing up, sisterhood and all femininity. Besides, that is what big sisters are for.I learned the hard way so she doesn’t have to. Though I am sure some f these lessons she has to walk the mile to actually get it.

  1. You only have one chance of having a soul sister. You will find sisterhood probably  a couple of times;in high-school, in campus and thereafter. But you only got one chance in having a soul sister. A best friend. Your person. Your to go person. Your rock. Your anchor. When you meet this special woman, the Ann to your Leslie. Pay the price and keep her. You will need her to survive. You will need her in your highest, lowest and other moments. You are lucky if you already have her, let your journey to forever begin. A platonic deep relationship with another woman is better than your greatest love story. When you come of age, you will appreciate his part bout being a woman.
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I THINK AM IN LOVE WITH BIKO ZULU

The day I met BIKO ZULU, I found god. I started believing in the divine again. And just so you know I haven’ met him physically. I met him through his blog posts and i love what am seeing. My therapist thinks it has everything to do with my unending daddy’s issues since the guy is closer to 40 than he is to 30.what do i know? He had me at his blogging

The guy could be writing about Italian shoes or the beauty of Kericho our mother land and he still blows my mind. I think I love him  because he has mastered his craft. Anyone who gets to master their craft makes them so damn attractive. They glow better than the shiniest diamonds, the prettiest pearls and the brightest stars. It is a force to reckon. Mastering a single craft is like an alchemist finally filtering gold from iron. You  walk around with some ‘swag’ like you know some secret of the universe no one else seem to have. it is beautiful. It is divine. It is so damn inspiring. You glow the way all things pure and all things divine do.It is so goddamn god like.

Someday I would like to be that good. Find my inner alchemist. Find my goddess self. My lover calls it; finding your tempo. Finding your song and it is so darn divine. It has some spirituality touch. IT IS LIKE DANCING WITH THE GODS.

 

 

 

I Don’t Need Saving¬†

I have been burned to the third degree. Felt helpless. Cried myself to sleep a couple of times. Drunk too much. I have been miserable. I have been very miserable. I would like to blame life. I would love to blame Mother Nature. I would like to Blame life. I would like to blame everything and everyone but me. But in the end, all I have is myself to blame. The choices I made. The places I left my heart. The persons I  let my heart believe in. The shooting stars I let all my hopes and dreams believe in. Everything. Everything. Everything. Everything comes back to me. 
When I tell you I don’t need saving…. You have to believe me. I might seem like a mess, a beautiful mess but I didn’t stumble to be a mess. I made choices, some bad, some good and others were just choices. Every morning I woke up and instead of coffee I did tea. Instead of working,i slept. Instead of smiling I frowned. Instead of calling my family and friends I let their calls go to voicemail. Every yes instead of no and vice versa. Every decision I made led me here. It might seem like I don’t add up to much. You might think I could be more only if you saved me. You are entitled to your opinion, beliefs and perception. 
Here’s the good news, I don’t need saving. You get what you see. if you don’t like it, leave it. Don’t think for a minute that you could save me. Try saving yourself when you still can. Save the world if you can. Take me as I am, flaws and all. Bad choices and all. Mediocre at best and all. I can’t change even if I tried. I can’t run even if my life depended on it. 
Sometimes you are 22 and you think you have everything figured out. Sometimes you are  23 and walking down the isle in white. Sometimes you are 24 without a career. Sometimes you are stupid and fall in love again. I mean, nothing seem to be a sure bet. Then you fall in love once again and you hope to The Guy above that they take you as you are. That they don’t try saving you. That they understand that it’s been a long time being you that you can’t stop. That they get that you are weird, broken and jaded and they don’t try fixing you. It’s alot of work to be broken you know. Because you really don’t need saving, maybe some love. 

IFAS During pregnancy

WHAT’S IFAS

IFAS IS IRON AND FOLIC ACID SUPPLEMENT GIVEN TO PREGNANT MOTHERS DURING ANC 

Background Information

Anemia is a medical condition in which capacity of the blood to transport oxygen is reduced either by low red blood cells level or low haemoglobin. 

According to WHO(World Health Organization) 41.8 % of pregnant women world wide are anemic. At least Half of the anemia burden is believed to be iron deficiency related the other half is caused by folic acid, vitamin A, parasitic infections and inflammatory chronic illnesses like HIV(Human immunodeficiency virus) and cancer. 


EFFECTS OF NOT USING IFAS

  • Low birth weight
  • Increase risk of premature babies
  • Increase risk of neural tube effect. 
  • Increase risk of maternal anaemia

EXPECTED SIDE EEFFECT OF IFAS

  • Constipation
  • Nausea
  • Vomiting
  • Diarrhea

HOW TO MANAGE SIDE EFFECTS

  • Take your daily dose after a meal, preferably a snack like at ten o’clock or 4 o’clock. 
  • Down it with Orange juice or other citrus products instead of water. 
  • Avoid milk for two hours after your IFAS intake
  • If symptoms persist see a doctor to review your dosage. 

WHEN AND HOW TO TAKE

  • Start within the first twenty weeks of pregnancy
  • Take one tablet a day 

Apologies

Apologies to myself for always beating myself up.Im sorry self for always cursing when things don’t go our way.For pounding our liver with pint after pint of liquor in an effort to drown God knows what sorrows I think I have .For giving you some wicked endurance exercises just to stroke an ego the size of a peanut.

Apologies to my parents.You brought up a fine young man.He on the other hand decided to just earn a masters in fucking shit up.He quite good at it though.Gave you sleepless nights and lots of stress .I apologize .I may never change but atleast it eats me inside. My cross.

Apologies to my exes .If I hurt any of you I’m sorry.Ah who am I kidding I hurt all of you.I’m a douche what can I say.Good thing some of you deserved it so I tend to sleep well at night and for those who didn’t well love is war and with war there is collateral damage so suck it up and go on get a life .

Apologies to my so called friends.Well you my friends so whatever shit iI come with you bound to encounter.So I’m just sorry for keeping my shit on a short leash .For holding on to my thoughts and other shit.In short I’m sorry for not giving you hell because most of you would have turned tail and run like bitches.

I apologize for wearing your eyes out as you read this piece because whilst I mean every word here you sorry excuse of a human being may never relate. These seem like words to you but to me this is just life in a nutshell.‚Äč