The Girl That Gave Me Pause 

Once upon a time in the land faraway I met a girl, the once in a lifetime kind of people. I can’t describe her even if I wanted, she was most things, diabolic comes to mind since complicated is cliché. This girl I speak of is nothing cliché, that much is clear. Today(a year ago to be precise), I thought about her, about something she once said. That was during my self destructive days. Well, usually I’m self destructing but those were worse times. I could say, darker times. She said something that gave me pause. 

In her own words;” BTW the only reason you are working hard to ruin your life is because the only person that you thought mattered decided to make you feel invisible. Well, ruining yourself won’t make you visible either. Get your head from the gutter and take charge of your life anyway. ”

 

It’s not the words that gave me pause, it’s the way she said it. Of course those words made sense and cut me deep in a wake up call kind of way, they make a lot of sense even right now. 
She is among those people who live in their heads, they don’t share their thoughts and rarely offer advice. So, when she said those words to me, it gave me pause. I knew she had thought about it for a while, and they weren’t meant for comfort or advice. More like facts.
Eventually, I reduced the rate of my self destructive ways, or so I told myself. There was no Happy ever after for me or anything dramatic of course. This is real life,lower your expectations. Today, when those words came rushing back to me, I realized my mistake. I went down that self destructive road because I had given someone(dearest daddy) so much power, trusted that they would always have my back and all. I was wrong, still am, the only person who got your back all the way is just you. The person who stares back at you when you look into the mirror.
If memory serves me right, I didn’t build walls around me from nothing. I think every brick was handed to me by somebody, either intentionally or not,it doesn’t really matter.  But the foundation, that was from those darker times or maybe before, we can’t really depend on memory. Well, I didn’t become not so a nice person from nowhere, after all. My friends call me selfish, I like to think of it as selfless love towards one self. I’m not narcistic, if I were, I think I would know. Maybe a little Self absorbent, but nothing chronic, it could be cured by everyone leaving me alone, mostly. 

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Taking Stock 003

Stop saying that you poor, you just broke, there is a difference. “

Anonymous


I stopped trying to prove that I am not broke because let’s face it, this chick is broke, take it or leave it. I don’t even think it’s something to be ashamed of, like J. Cole once said, “love yours. ” I was shocked the other day when some tweeps were talking about being broke and all. After a long thread of the reality of their financial state, one of them admitted that they can only talk about such deep things on twitter. Well, it’s true, twitter is for savages or so I gathered. That it’s not things they tell their friends., laud! We can’t be friends if we don’t speak real. I was like, WTF! We are in the twenty first century, being broke should be trendy, to start with. Not trendy like we made mental illness trendy, we went more than a little over board with that, just trendy enough to make us not ashamed for not being rich. Love yours, always. I want to start a community of people who own whatever stage they are in while they keep working towards where they want to be. Instead of swapping flashy ten seconds photos we tell each other what was really going on in our life at that particular moment. Like, “you see how good my hair is there? I had just scored my first big time client and my boss gave me bonus so I decided to spend it all bla bla bla…. ” You feel me?

As long as you working towards improving your bank account and life in general, there is nothing to be ashamed of when you a masterpiece in progress . You don’t have to go deep into debt just so you can go out with friends to places where you know deep down is damaging your finances. You don’t have to pretend you can afford 3$ worth of coffee just to hangout with someone you used to know from I don’t know which lifetime. You don’t have to pretend that you living some sort of life for instagram likes or anything. Own where you are right now. It’s your journey, that is your story. “fake it till you make it” whoever said that I am sure they didn’t mean literally.

Don’t get me wrong, I ain’t saying that just because you broke that you don’t deserve “the good life”. No, I am just saying, don’t go an extra mile to prove you ain’t broke when you supper broke. You deserve to treat yourself to all the good things your life has to offer, if they are expensive, you can start saving. Which reminds me, I haven’t gotten around to getting myself that bottle of wine yet, all in good time Riri. I should start saving for it, probably tomorrow or the day after. Just not today.

You see, after graduating, we all get a chance to approach life differently. I can only speak for us who choose self employment. According to my mum, it will be roughly around 5 years for a business that started from scratch to go steady. In plain words, she was just telling me that it will be a long while before I afford that bottle of wine I have been dreaming of. Dammit! I have friends and clients who went into gainful employment and to be honest with you, they are the ones who are winning. They have more spare change to spoil than anyone I know. I call them my rich friends. Every time I am telling my partner stories about them. ……..I am like, “you remember Brenda the rich one? She just gave us an order for black and white polka dot shoe and clutch. ” Well, it’s true they ain’t broke they are rich. Then there is the group that be jobless, don’t stop looking if gainful employment is what you really want, no situation is permanent.

It’s just a matter of owning where you are, embrace it. Appreciate it. Live it. Keep working towards improving it.

Fruitful week ahead my beloveds.

Until next time friends!

Riri from # VaaKenya

Taking Stock 002

Let’s talk about books”

I have been reading a lot in 2017. I vowed to increase my knowledge beginning of the year, at least I was able to keep that resolution all year long.That means it’s worth looking into that part of my life in my series of accounting for my 2017. So, I went into books with an open mind and I got lucky. I discovered a few interesting reads. Read from genres I didn’t think people wrote books about. I won’t go into details for each and every book or anything as interesting, but I will try to brush through and give as many details as possible. You might wonder how some over worked and under paid chick like Riri  would get time to read? Wonder no more, the secret lies in my phone, the gods of e-books did that and Nairobi unending traffic jam majorly contributed to the success of upholding my reading resolution. So, I get stuck in traffic more than once a day, I decided to turn it into reading time instead of getting mad over situations I have no control over. It’s a.life back and it totally works. Also, some Sundays(when I have time) I walk into city parks(Uhuru Park and Aboretum) has been my sanctuary to enjoy a book and nature, I hate working on Sundays,so when I get a chance I bury my nose in a book. I am a morning person, before when I had too much time and little to do I used to blog in the wee hours, in 2017 I have been using those few hours to read instead. Well, that explains why I haven’t been blogging as much-needed. You can’t be everything,sigh! I digress. And I refuse to be a 24 hours on call time of woman. There is only so much you can do within 24 hours you know. Sigh!Again.

Okay. Fine. Let’s talk about books.

  1. My first exciting discovery of 2017 in the genre department was Queer  Romance. The entire over the rainbow spectrum. I should have found these books earlier but apparently everything happens in due time. I have dwelled a lot on the violet part of the spectrum, the beauty of how women love women blew my mind in more ways than one though I have taken some time to read at least one book on the entire rainbow spectrum. I should give you a list,right? I really should. Okay, here is a Deal, I will compile the list and post it as a sequel or something or a mini post something something.
  2. The other exciting genre discovery was Urban Fiction. I was introduced to this particular genre by a friend and my first book was a series. I swear I am a sucker for books that give me a chance to hangout for a while with my newfound friends(characters). The initiation books were from none other than Simon R Greene series- Nightside and The Drood Family. Hanging out with John Taylor(from The Nightside) and Eddie Drood( from The Drood Family)respectively was awesome. I still think Eddie was and is better than Taylor but what do I know? My significant other is head over heels for Taylor and so is my best friend. Betrayers! Them both! Though to be fair my best friend read (The Nightside) only. 
  3. I read from a genre I never thought I could; self help books or self improvement or whatever you want to call them. That was challenging and a little hard, though, I soldiered on. I read “The power Of persuasion” , “money lab”, How To Be Happy(that one had so.much bullshit it’s a miracle I finished it), “How To make Friends and Influence People” and “Every day is a Friday” which at first was tough but I picked some worthwhile lessons. It did give me perspective. I don’t even remember the authors, I will have to Google them. I read enough to last me a lifetime, never again, I ain’t touching that genre again.
  4. I discovered more than a few books on mental illness. I was lucky to get to read books from bipolar disorders to multi personality disorders to depression. I was impressed by the number of books on mental illness, we are seriously making progress on the subject. The books that left impression on me were all the three books by Jenny Lawson the bloggess: “Furiously Happy, Let’s Pretend this Never Happened and You are Here”. Also Mary Higgins Clarke “all around town boys and girls” was a good read.
  5. Contemporary romance kept me sane on the days things got a little tough. I love me a weird romance story with a happy ending when I want to escape reality. 
  6. The Bible, of course I read the bible. Of all the books I have read, The Bible is among the few books that left a lot of room for thinking. As a literature reference book, on it’s own, it’s genius. As a religious read? What do I know, a lot of controversy sprout day in day out. 
  7. It’s not a good year without reading Robert Green books so as a sign of a good year I re-read the art of seduction. Well, it was because I needed to seduce someone whom I had a huge crush on, of course “the art of seduction” did not save me. I was forced to improvise along the way but it felt safe having the awesome tips of seduction somewhere in the periphery of my subconscious ready to be implemented if need arise. Tiara good thing I kinda won them or the other way. I am not sure who is the catch here. At the end of the day, love wins. At least for me it won,anyway.

Basically, that was the highlight of my 2017 in the book department. I use FbReader as my reader and I get most of my books for free from www.ebookbike.com 

Process Of Getting Free Ebooks

  1. Download FbReader from play store(Android users)
  2. Visit www.ebookbike.com and search for whatever you looking for. You can use authors name or book titles.
  3. Start reading

P.S. happy reading from Riri. Just remember to donate to your favourite authors while at it.  LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE FREE BOOKS.

On Clients and In Betweens Of Being Your Own Boss 

So, the journey of being your own boss comes with challenges, who would have thought? I am still new in the game,still learning the ropes of the business.I am in the shoe industry, just in case you didn’t know. Ankara and custom made shoes to be precise.
I heard somewhere that the principles of business is the same everywhere and all you have to do is figure them out, apply them and thereafter, everything else works with the same principle. Well, where I come from we believe in the power of books or is it information? So, before I started my business, I read books from several fields, books written by economist, psychologist, marketers and heavens knows what other related fields. I thought those books will on the least, help me with basic principles of the business and all. Imagine my surprise when it hit me that I had to learn everything from FUCKING scratch. So far so good, still learning, still trying. Haven’t put a bullet through my brains yet, you know. Progress.
Today am in the mood of talking about customers or clients. If you are a start up, the worst clients are your friends or so I found out. I should have known from the start, or I should have taken the advice from that book I don’t remember that somehow stated that friends will be your first clients,and they will grandly ruin you. I mean,some of my friends have been awesome and paid up and all. Most of them did let me down. Some paying half the money,others none and some placing orders and then somehow changing their mind. I mean,what the fuck, why give specifics of a shoe then somehow change your mind? You do realize, it will take a century to have another you with such a poor taste in shoe,right? The reason we custom make shoes is so that we include our clients in the process of creation. I have over fifteen pairs of shoes lying somewhere in my house that I have no fucking idea what to do with them. I can’t even wear them, maybe I will go to shagz(my village) and I might get lucky to find a few feets willing to wear them, donate them for Christmas or something.
They say the client is always right. I know. Some clients I found online bought our products and gave us both positive and constructive critics that I did appreciate. Perfection is our aim and with such criticism we will definitely achieve perfection. If a client doesn’t like a product, that is totally alright. I don’t see how clients are right when they give you specifics of what they want then fail to pick up their goddamn orders.
Then the ones who outright refuse to pay. That was a mistake on my side. I am learning. Soon, I will get better at the game, like everyone else. Apparently, no one escapes bad debts, it’s part of the game.
On the days I feel like giving up, someone restores my faith in humanity in one way or another.
Until next time friends. I will keep updating you on my journey of being my own boss. Tough, I know. We carry on.
Namaste.

Be Your Own Boss

Every millennial wants to be their own boss. I like the sound of that, scratch that, i FUCKING LOVE THE SOUND OF THAT. More bosses, more job opportunities, my god, we all know Africa needs jobs more than we need relief food.More bosses with their hypothetical more jobs comes with better services, better products, driven by forces of demand and supply(assuming our new bosses fail to think outside the box and over flood our supply industry) which creates competition and,maybe,perharps, the best products and services wins or it could get better,we get to pay less for more or is it get more for less?But then again, things might not turn out like I imagined. Like some people still pay more for less.Humans are unpredictable like that.
I didn’t go to businesses school so I have no idea how forces of demand and supply might reflect on the economy but someone I know once explained that shit to me in layman’s language,”more bosses,more jobs.” That’s all we care about,don’t you think?

So I took matters into my own hands and started my own business, again, she says. I sell handcrafted shoes,designed by some good people,you should see them sometime. Maybe I should write a blog post on my shoe business someday. Since I joined the shoe industry, things have been crazy and awesome. Like my big brother placed an order a week ago that I haven’t delivered yet, because of one reason or another. I have made some clients happy. Some are not so happy. I have encountered challenges, unforseen, for that matter,that I soldiered on. Some days I want to walk away, get a job and let someone else worry about my bills but my momma didn’t raise a quitter. “Things have a way of working out,” I remind myself everyday. Then there are days I just sleep in and I ignore my clients and the shoes stay in the workshop BC I need to have a day or two to myself because I don’t want to be a zombie, burn outs are real my friend. But that’s my story of trying to be my own boss. Its my journey and I intend to enjoy the ride,learn to dance in the rain,and take a break when I can’t survive another day without taking a break. It is part of the process. Learning the ropes of the industry, the art of money, the rules of gold, the art of customer service and taking care of myself enough to survive the madness.
 
So,imagine if all millennials, especially recent graduates who are jobless, they all decide to start their own small hassle instead of blaming the government of unemployment or generation X for making things worse for US. Well,it is true generation X fucked us up;they did tank the economy with money, pass policy that doesn’t favour us and all……. I know, I know. But we are millenials, we can fix their mistake. Turn lemons into lemonade or is it see the opportunity in the tragedy and spin these around to our favor. We did invent things that didn’t seem possible ten years ago. We started selfies, social media etc. We can take the business of being our own bosses serious and make the world a better place. We can take the hashtag #BYOB  from just another trending hashtag on social media to reality. Stop looking for a job, start your own business and if you really want to be employed, you can as well start by hiring yourself. How about that? WE CAN DO THIS, MILLENNIA LS, YES WE CAN. We can actualize the dream of being our own bosses.

Until next time friends!!

Blessing Galore 

Finally we hit 200 posts.

I feel blessed. 

Now that Easter is here, I would like to thank The Guy above for his unending love and blessings He sent my way and for The gift of life .

 Thanks to my readers for your constant support. For reading my work. For validating my struggles by commenting and e-mailing me. Sometimes all it takes is to hear from you and I know I don’t have to stop writing for the internet 
Thanks to my friends, family, strangers and beautiful glorious sundown for inspiration, sharing moments with me and your stories.

 Thanks to insomnia I get to write at night. 

Special thanks to my hormones, that girl, surely, makes me bleed words and literally.

Today it’s all morning sunshine, coffee and gratitude. It’s truly during Easter weekend, just  after the glorious ecclesiastial full Moon. The universe is all awesomeness and gratitude.
It wouldn’t have been possible without y’all sharing your stories and life with me. 
It wouldn’t have been possible without the glorious beautiful sunset that inspires me to want to create something beautiful.
It wouldn’t have been possible without conversation with the moon. She inspires conversations in my head for the book I will never write.
3am is a beautiful place. It’s where my favorite pieces come from. 
Thanks to bloggers for supporting and editing my work. 
My hormones, she is the best. 
Thanks to everyone and everything that made blogging worth the work, vulnerability and the pain.
Thanks to WordPress for giving me a platform to project my life. 

It wouldn’t have been possible without the internet community. I may never meet y’all but surely you have been the best. Your support, hate speech, spam messages and constructive criticism has been for the best.

I hope my words have not been in vain. 
Keep the love. Keep the support.
Yesterday and other days from yesterday I have had moments of walking away from writing. The vulnerability of sharing my thoughts online sometimes literally hurts. But it’s the posts that leave me most vulnerable that matter the most. It’s the posts of my struggles that make a few people feel less alone and for me that’s enough.
Namaste. 

An Email To Crazy Monday 

This is Ms.Riri but her friends call her Daisy. She is just a girl from a small town with big town dreams. Sometimes she writes about big town dreams but mostly it is about small town happenings. She talks about terrible things with a touch of humor and sarcasm. Currently she is an unemployed twenty something doing odd jobs to get by. When she is not at working, she is writing stuff online, watching bad TV while sipping water or cheap wine that stains her teeth or coffee. There is a huge chance she is always sipping coffee, though.

I don’t think am popular on social media but I know a couple or more than a couple of strangers who read the substandard prose I post online and sometimes I get inspired and write poems.

I have a blog, not popular of course. There is a chance the same couple or more than a couple of strangers online read the blog, but what do I know?

Every time I get started working on a piece my intentions are pure; write something inspiring and educative. If you read my posts online you will realize they are mostly sarcastic with a touch of humor. The articles and stories are mainly for people out there to feel less alone and have a little laugh. I make up words that do not exist; English falls short in some situations you know. There is a long list of words somewhere with my name on it or maybe there isn’t but that doesn’t mean I will stop using problemly and the like. Chuck Lorre once said, “sometimes you write and you think your words are funny and mind blowing but in reality they are just words that doesn’t mean you stop writing”.

In other news, I did not set myself up to write this mail nor see the advert but approximately six strangers online sent me the advert. It might not seem as much but having six or more strangers believe in you is a big deal where I come from. The message that hit the spot or should I use the coffin and nail expression? The message was from some girl who promised to Phillip Drummond a bottle of wine if I email you. Well, if we have met then you obviously know I never turned down alcohol ever; I doubt I can start now.

Find me on Facebook @ Daisy Riri
Blog @ www.daisyriri.wordpresss.co

PS. I told you they don’t e-mail me back