Will You Marry Me

“Am willing to play ball, if a ring is promised”

I promise to be everything she expects from a daughter in-law. You said you come from a very respectable Christian family. I will go to church and get baptized. I hope joining the choir won’t be going a little overboard. Anyway am joining the choir. I love music, I don’t have a singing voice. A girl can play a little you know. I don’t care, as long as it earns me points. If your mom will nod with approval, why not?So, if she favours me, will you marry me? 

I promise I will learn how to cook good food.when I meet your mom I will pretend to love cooking. Maybe I should add cooking on my non existent list of hobbies, that’s not a little over board… . I will even lie that I spend my free time cooking, make up stories of baking Cookies with my dearest mommy and stuff. Possibly exaggerate a little on some bullshit recipe that grandma taught mom and that mom taught me. I will even suggest we try it in her kitchen. Pray  she turns the offer down. The last thing I need is blowing it. That would mean embarrassing my non cooking mostly dead ancestors. I don’t know why I think that would be embarrassing. Maybe it got something to do with washing dirty linen in public. But grandma didn’t love cooking and she wasn’t embarrassed about it.  Let’s not get sidetracked here, the goal is to win your mom over, any way. I need to know, Will you marry me then? 
If you wondering how far am willing to go. Dearling, the answer is as far as it takes. I am a woman, one who never backs down when she sets her eyes on something (you marrying me).  This girl is unstoppable. I will play this game like a Russian roulette. I play to win. So before I make my first step, before I start. Will you marry me if i get your mom to play?  Because dealing, it takes two to tango. I can win her over but Will you marry me? 
Reasons Why I Considered Marrying You

• I want a ring
• I want a ring
• I want to go to Paris
• I want to go to Paris
• You love someone else, so a marriage of convenience will do. 
• I want go get my mom off my back. 
• I want a big ring, one I can pur on Instagram. A ring big enough to be Instagram Worthy. 
• You don’t talk much, I could use a little silence right now. 
• I don’t care about you, so it will work out think. 
• Ooh.. And the only challenge is to get your mom to Like me. Challenge accepted. 

So, if I fulfill the quest, will you marry me? I need to know. If your mom gives us her blessing, will you pop the question? In Paris with an Instagram Worthy ring, that is!